Bullets 'n' Babes

Markgway wrote:

saltysam wrote:especially in light of the new movie due at the end of the year.

**SHUDDER**

Fair enough,but Balboa and Rambo 4 elicited the same feelings,both were decent. the director's previous movie got stellar reviews though i haven't seen it.

Carrie (2013) 2/5 Competent but needless 2nd remake of De Palma's original. Chloe Morentz while a great actress is far too pretty to be taken seriously as a wall flower.showing it's a modern update,Carrie's early humilation in the showers is captured on a smartphone and upped to youtube.Julianne Moore plays her batshit crazy mother and looks bored throughout.

Tenebrae (1982-Italy) ***

Bought this a little while back and forgot to post.
One of the best giallos.

X-Ray 1/5 tepid Cannon slasher flick,pretty poor but i've seen worse,much worse.

Boulevard Nights 2/5 Tale of two brothers,the older one trying and failing to steer his impressionable brother away from gang warfare.made in the wake of The Warriors,this ok film has none of the comic book vibe of that one.

saltysam wrote:X-Ray 1/5 tepid Cannon slasher flick,pretty poor but i've seen worse,much worse.

The best bit (only good bit?) was the ridiculously pervy nude examination.

I need to take your temperature, so would you strip off all your clothes? Thanks, love.

Echoes from the Dead (2013-Sweden) **½
Typically bleak Nordic-noir - does the sun ever shine up there?
Snail's pace plot, but it's decently acted and intriguing enough to hold your attention.
Nice to see a middle-aged actress (mid-to-late 50s) as a lead, sexual relevant character.

Magic (1978-USA) **½
Not bad psychological thriller stars an intense Anthony Hopkins acting off his nut as a ventriloquist with a dummy partner who talks too much. Overbaked, but it mostly grabs you... until the screenplay (by William Goldman) takes a wrong turn -- by making the dummy real. You can have either crazy human or killer doll - not both.

Age Of Kill 1.5/5 i think the fact i've watched so much crap this year has lowered my guard,this british actioner has had appalling reviews but i found it tolerable.Martin Kemp is an disgraced MI:5 sniper who's daughter gets kidnapped by a maniac,who threatens to kill her unless he takes out 6 targets in 6 hours.The baddie is so obvious from the opening minutes i was surprised we were supposed to find it a surprise lol and some classic gaffs (example: after he takes out the second target the maniac tells him "2 down 2 to go"

saltysam wrote:example: after he takes out the second target the maniac tells him "2 down 2 to go"

2+2=6. Duh!

Police Academy (1984-USA) **½
If it weren't for nostalgia - this was a childhood favourite, my friend and I would recite routines - I probably wouldn't own this. There are some laughs, nothing hilarious, really. Moderate amounts of sex, nudity and un-PC material - before Warner turned it into a PG franchise (after The Ladd Company folded). Love the end credits song: "I'm gonna be somebody... I'm gonna make my sta--and."

Adventures Of A Taxi Driver 1/5 dire british sex comedy,starring the late Barry Evans.the pretty Judy Geeson's in this but is about the only female member who remains clothed throughout.

Charlie's Farm 1.5/5 Aussie gory horror starring Tara Reid,not very good though the end was a surprise

The Three Stooges (2012-USA) **½
Amusing update of the old Columbia slapstick shorts is largely faithful to the tone and behaviour of its inspiration.

Kung Fury 2/5 31 minute fan made love letter to old school action movies/video games and pretty much anything else.exhausting and well done but i imagine a full length feature would be too much.

Satan's Slave 1.5/5 70's british occult horror is rather plodding,livened up only by frequent nude scenes.Michael Gough looks suitably bored.

Stone Cold (1991-USA) ***
Ex-NFL star Brian Bosworth smashes-up Lance Henriksen's biker gang in this violent, stunt-packed action vehicle. Does exactly what you want it to.

Scream for Help (1984-UK) **½
Teenage girl (well-played by Rachael Kelly who subsequently disappeared from screens) believes her step-father is trying to murder her and her mother for an inheritance. Is she right? Obviously. Michael Winner's direction (of a Tom Holland script) isn't terribly impressive - imagine what first choice Richard Franklin could've done with this? - but punches across the material with just enough competence to get by. Little known thriller never made it to DVD.

Markgway wrote:Scream for Help (1984-UK) **½
Teenage girl (well-played by Rachael Kelly who subsequently disappeared from screens) believes her step-father is trying to murder her and her mother for an inheritance. Is she right? Obviously. Michael Winner's direction (of a Tom Holland script) isn't terribly impressive - imagine what first choice Richard Franklin could've done with this? - but punches across the material with just enough competence to get by. Little known thriller never made it to DVD.

that's quite an uncanny coincidence.i've just grabbed this and Dirty Weekend from Cinemageddon literally less than an hour ago

saltysam wrote:that's quite an uncanny coincidence.i've just grabbed this and Dirty Weekend from Cinemageddon literally less than an hour ago

That is strange. I doubt either film has been released on VHS since the mid 90s.

A quick check shows that SCREAM was last passed by the BBFC in 1987 (no cuts) and WEEKEND in 1995 (cut 1:22).

Interestingly The Movie Channel screened WEEKEND uncut in 1996 and it hasn't been seen since.

Markgway wrote:

saltysam wrote:that's quite an uncanny coincidence.i've just grabbed this and Dirty Weekend from Cinemageddon literally less than an hour ago

That is strange. I doubt either film has been released on VHS since the mid 90s.

A quick check shows that SCREAM was last passed by the BBFC in 1987 (no cuts) and WEEKEND in 1995 (cut 1:22).

Interestingly The Movie Channel screened WEEKEND uncut in 1996 and it hasn't been seen since.

apparently the version of Dirty Weekend i've grabbed is the uncut one,achieved by inserting the cut sequences from an italian dvd

WEEKEND was actually banned from video in the UK for just over a year (even though the cinema version was uncut).

I can only assume SKY's 90s uncut screening(s) were unintentional.
I should've taped it.

Apparently the Australian rental VHS was uncut (the only official version in English without any burnt subs).

As it's been 20 years (dear Jesus!) I think I'll put this on my rewatch list.

Markgway wrote:The Three Stooges (2012-USA) **½
Amusing update of the old Columbia slapstick shorts is largely faithful to the tone and behaviour of its inspiration.

I just rewatched it:

The Three Stooges (2012: Bobby Farrelly, Peter Farrelly) **½/****

Rewatching this for the second time what I wrote in 2012 is still appropriate for my feelings of the film. I added and made modifications to my previous review below. The first time I saw this it was in the theater to an almost empty crowd in the biggest screen in the theater, this last time was on DVD.

The actors who portray the Three Stooges do quite a good job. They look like the Stooges, they sound like the Stooges and they act like the Stooges or at least a close enough facsimile. While it is not unusual to have many actors linked to a film before it comes out, this one has had some big, yet strange names like Sean Penn and Jim Carrey. Ultimately the spirit of the Stooges was served well with the actors they picked. However, the film could have used a better plot.

The idea of interlinking three episodes into the narrative akin to their more famous shorts was appropriate. The whole film was like a mixture of an Animaniacs sketch of Good Idea, Bad Idea. Larry David as a nun – that was funny and disturbing, using the cast of Jersey Shore … well that was OK but I thought it would have been better without them and it is a topical gag that will be completely unfunny in a few years. I thought taking the structure from both The Blues Brothers and Fletch were not inspired ideas.

There were several sketches that I found quite hilarious including the early on casting of the young Stooges, the worst use of ice cream to a party gone wrong. Most of them were hybrid mixes of Stooges jokes and Farrelly’s own sense of humor. There were plenty of gags and pokes and hammer hits straight from the old material, some of which get tiring after awhile and some of them are painfully funny. If there was a better plot and if more original material was used I think this could have been a very funny comedy.

I like, but not love the earlier Stooges. They were at their best after Ted Healy and before Shemp (I like Shemp more than the following two replacements after his death though) during their early Columbia years when they were at their most anarchist and most healthy. But they repeated so much of their material, even early on, that if you are new to the Stooges, you probably will enjoy them more if you do not watch them in chronological order or too many in a row.

As usual with many comedies, stick around during the credits for singing and additional comedy scenes. It did not happen right when the credits started so everybody was out of the theater except for me (I was thinking there was going to be an additional scene after the credits, but there was none).

Useless info from my old review: I saw a second version of the Dark Shadows trailer. I’m really looking forward to that film which means I’ll probably be annoyed after watching it.

This topical joke surprisingly still works several years later:

Lydia: Those 3 idiots are here!
Mac: The Kardashian sisters?

Dirty Weekend (1992-UK) **½
Michael Winner is back on familiar turf with this feminist take on Death Wish. Lia Williams does a memorable turn as Bella - the mousy girl who just won't take it (from odious men) anymore. Can only be enjoyed as a very black comedy and isn't to be taken seriously (it would probably be offensive if you did). Unlike Charlie Bronson, Bella is a psychopath and takes pleasure in her kills (did the fat bloke really deserve to die?). Still, probably Winner's best film since the 70s (not that that's saying much).

Blood (2012-UK) **½
Absorbing British crime drama about guilt and family loses its momentum half way through; would've played better with its emphasis on being a thriller.

Dirty Weekend 2/5 Winner's Death Wish retread takes a different path-the female protagonist here is a bottle of pop ready to explode long before Rufus Sewell's dirty phone caller makes her snap.Not bad, couldn't warm to Lia Williams as Bella though....quite nasty in it's uncut form,the humilation of the fat guy left me feeling uneasy...bravo to the actor for taking on such a role.

Scream For Help 2/5 entertainingly melodramatic thriller from Michael Winner stretches credibility throughout the wholesome female heroine shags her best friend's boyfriend the day after said best friend has been brutally murdered in front of her many of the cast seem to have done little else before or since.

saltysam wrote:the humilation of the fat guy left me feeling uneasy...bravo to the actor for taking on such a role.

Agreed. It was the one scene where I wasn't on Bella's side. She was in the wrong. I doubt that was intentional on the part of the filmmakers though. Unlike Bronson where we're always on his side and his victims are all death-deserving scum. Being horny and fat isn't a justification for murder. OK, he hits her with a book, but she could've gotten revenge by smacking him back and/or leaving him tied-up naked for a maid to find. I think this scene shows Winner's shaky grasp of the material.

Swing Shift (1984-USA) **
During WW2, as the men went off to fight in foreign lands, the women left behind embarked on short-lived careers as factory workers for the military machine. Director Jonathan Demme's original cut (scrapped by Warners at producer-star Goldie Hawn's behest) was reportedly a terrific movie that focused on the politics and sexism of the war at home. The release cut is a flat, inconsistent and incoherent drama that plays up a love triangle (Kurt Russell and Christine Lahti are the other participants) at the expense of more interesting and thought-provoking material. A bootleg of the DC is out there (though I haven't seen it). It's been suggested that it represents Hawn's best dramatic work; in the current version she just seems out of her depth.

Opera 2/5 While far better than Argento's latter day efforts this one made during his heyday hasn't aged particularly well.Doesn't help that the heroine isn't particularly a sympathetic character.a couple of ok setpieces but this is far from the heights of Suspiria.

End Play 2.5/5 well made 70's Oz psychological thriller about two brothers,one a paraplegic who seem to be involved in the murders of young female hitchhikers.little seen these days,it's worth catching up with.