What Have You Just Seen... Marks Out of 5

bradavon · Post by **bradavon** » 14 Oct 2007, 23:46

Markgway wrote:RR's best film is easily The Faculty.

Probably because he didn't write the script.

The Faculty sucks, just like all those films do. Except for Scream and "I know what you did last summer" (mostly for JLH's marvellous cleavage).

bradavon · Post by **bradavon** » 15 Oct 2007, 00:25

Euro Trip

Being kind 3 out of 10 - Mostly for the tits!

I'm a fan of American Pie, American Pie 2 and Road Trip but mostly these films suck, this no exception. It's basically the same story as American Pie but not remotely as funny. The story mostly takes place in Europe and plays entirely on stereotypes of various European nations.

I do hope it's all a clever joke that I've missed because if not it just proves how fucking clueless most Americans are when it comes to America.

It gets worse by portraying Eastern Europe as a lesser part of Europe in a really derogatory and pretentious part of the film. "It's Eastern Europe" one of them says when the enter what looks like a battlefield. Did the film-makers even set foot outside of America? I doubt it. Not only can they not resist in showing so many stereotypes they even go to the length of saying:

"Europe is the worst country ever".

I felt like shouting at the screen Europe is a continent you fucking ignoramus. It's no wonder so many Americans think Europe is a country with lots of states when this kind of shit is made.

Vinnie Jones is great though.

Gorgeous

6 out of 10

How is this a Jackie Chan film? It's a Shu Qi film that Jackie happens to star in (I know he's the creative mind behind it). It was unusual to see a film where Jackie doesn't play the main part, it's not even told from his point of view.

As expected Shu Qi is uber sexy, and cute too. I loved every moment she was on screen but Jackie's presence felt completely forced.

The two fights felt even more forced and out of place. They didn't fit with the film one iota. They weren't even that good. I don't know why Jackie bothered, they actually hurt the film. Jackie's acting was perfectly fine, nothing special though. Acting isn't one of his strong points. Tony Leung as a camp queen was historical.

As I said Shu Qi was really the star of the film and I thought about keeping it for her alone but really she has done the same cute performance in much better films.

Out of my collection it goes.

And When Did You Last See Your Father?

8 out of 10

A new film this one, only recently having been released.

It stars Colin Firth as the son and Jim Broadbent as the father. It basically centres around their relationship and the problems it includes. Flash backs are included to a younger Colin Firth played very well by Bradley Johnson.

Colin Firth was surprisingly excellent. Jim Broadbent is always excellent and here he didn't disappoint. The supporting cast were very good too. The directing and script was also excellent. It's hard to say much more without giving any spoilers away.

I shall just say it's a very good solid British drama. The sort of film Britain excels at. I can see Oscar calling!

Lourdes · Post by **Lourdes** » 15 Oct 2007, 00:43

HungFist wrote:Hopefully Bisc is wrong because I have Planet Terror on order. But yeah, El Mariachi is far superior to Desperado.

Planet Terror isn't bad at all. Only real problem is that it's overlong and it feels like they get a bit too serious about making it toward the end.

gasteropod · Post by **gasteropod** » 15 Oct 2007, 01:32

bradavon wrote:Gorgeous

Out of my collection it goes.

Is it uncut? Is it Cantonese with English subtitles? Is it anamorphic?

If so, I'll have it!

bradavon · Post by **bradavon** » 15 Oct 2007, 02:07

gasteropod wrote:Is it uncut? Is it Cantonese with English subtitles? Is it anamorphic?

Uncut = Yes
Cantonese = Yes
English subtitles = Yes
Anamorphic = No
Correct aspect ratio (2.35:1) = Yes
Extras = Biographies

There is no Uncut Anamorphic DVD period, the international DVDs are all anamorphic but cut by 20 minutes. It's the DVD5 Universe Laser HK DVD.

I've had it on eBay twice previously and it didn't sell. I didn't think anyone here was interested. I think I listed my eBay auction at the time, anyway it's not important.

Do you still want it? Name me a price.

grim_tales · Post by **grim_tales** » 15 Oct 2007, 07:15

What does n/m mean?
I think El Mariachi has merit and as you say it is commendable for what RR did with the very small budget, I enjoyed all 3 Mariachi movies.

But I don't understand how you can say "Mariachi's" story sucks, and then praise Desperado when the plot of Desperado is also non exsistent.
OUATIM is a bit OTT but its great fun, I love Johnny Depp's character.

EvaUnit02 · Post by **EvaUnit02** » 15 Oct 2007, 09:58

grim_tales wrote:What does n/m mean?

Never mind, you're Grim.

grim_tales · Post by **grim_tales** » 15 Oct 2007, 12:33

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 15 Oct 2007, 13:46

bradavon wrote:The Faculty sucks, just like all those films do.

That's a huge generalisation.

I'm not a big fan of "teen horror" but I thought that The Faculty was a definite cut above.

Except for Scream and "I know what you did last summer" (mostly for JLH's marvellous cleavage).

Agreed on JLH's spectacular breasts, but I'd say The Faculty is as good as either of those.

Vinnie Jones is great though.

Not a statement I ever thought I'd read.

slasher13 · Post by **slasher13** » 15 Oct 2007, 13:50

Here here, Scream is good I give it that (New Nightmare was better

), but likewise with what Mark says The Faculty is alot better than I know what you did. Anyway they are different genre one is sci-fi, the other is slasher movie (albeit not that good). I love the thing homage scene in the The Faculty

gasteropod · Post by **gasteropod** » 15 Oct 2007, 14:04

bradavon wrote:Do you still want it? Name me a price.

Hmm, I didn't think there were any anamorphic uncut ones available, ah well. No thank you

bradavon · Post by **bradavon** » 15 Oct 2007, 14:26

Different genres yes but they're very similar in style and tone. Final Destination is the same too and boy that film sucks. I've never got why it's so popular. Seeing that chick get hit by the bus was funny though

Markgway wrote:That's a huge generalisation.

It is but we all do it. I'm sure as hell not watching them all just to prove or disprove my point. As Romero "claims" he does.

Not a statement I ever thought I'd read.

He does play the loud mouth British yob very well. It's frankly all he can do.

grim_tales wrote:But I don't understand how you can say "Mariachi's" story sucks, and then praise Desperado when the plot of Desperado is also non exsistent.

Fair point. I sit correct. Desperado is a hell of a lot of fun though. El Mariachi isn't fun.

I own both though, but they are in the same set. If they weren't I doubt I'd keep El Mariachi.

bradavon · Post by **bradavon** » 15 Oct 2007, 14:27

gasteropod wrote:Hmm, I didn't think there were any anamorphic uncut ones available, ah well. No thank you

I understand. Sadly not. Fair enough. I would've had to take it out of the dustbin anyway

EvaUnit02 · Post by **EvaUnit02** » 15 Oct 2007, 15:31

bradavon wrote:Different genres yes but they're very similar in style and tone. Final Destination is the same too and boy that film sucks. I've never got why it's so popular. Seeing that chick get hit by the bus was funny though

Affleck was da bomb in Phantoms, yo.

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 15 Oct 2007, 16:37

bradavon wrote:Seeing that chick get hit by the bus was funny though

That was the one bit that made me jump.

It is but we all do it. I'm sure as hell not watching them all just to prove or disprove my point. As Romero "claims" he does.

Most aren't great... I can't really argue. But a few are pretty decent.

He does play the loud mouth British yob very well.

Ah, so he appears as himself?

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 15 Oct 2007, 16:38

EvaUnit02 wrote:Affleck was da bomb in Phantoms, yo.

Lol, that one was lame IIRC.

Cherry Falls was another stinker... and Urban Legend was quite poor.

romerojpg · Post by **romerojpg** » 15 Oct 2007, 16:49

Final Destination is cracking, part 2 even more so for that staggering pile up, probibly the best car crash ever put to film. Not aimed at bradavon obviously

but part 3 is lame.

Phantoms is the Bomb, love that film.

Shingster · Post by **Shingster** » 15 Oct 2007, 16:56

From Dusk till Dawn is better than them all (well maybe on par with Desperado).

BiscLimpkit · Post by **BiscLimpkit** » 15 Oct 2007, 17:36

HungFist wrote:Hopefully Bisc is wrong because I have Planet Terror on order. But yeah, El Mariachi is far superior to Desperado.

I haven't seen Planet Terror.

I've Death Proof which was more like Death Poop.

HungFist · Post by **HungFist** » 15 Oct 2007, 17:52

BiscLimpkit wrote:
HungFist wrote:Hopefully Bisc is wrong because I have Planet Terror on order. But yeah, El Mariachi is far superior to Desperado.
I haven't seen Planet Terror.

I've Death Proof which was more like Death Poop.

Well, it was a little disappointing. It was only Tarantino's best movie since Kill Bill Vol. 2, making it the best american movie made since 2004.

bradavon · Post by **bradavon** » 15 Oct 2007, 18:44

LOL WTF? Not cult enough for you Hung?

HungFist · Post by **HungFist** » 15 Oct 2007, 19:14

bradavon wrote:LOL WTF? Not cult enough for you Hung?

uhm, what?

slasher13 · Post by **slasher13** » 15 Oct 2007, 20:14

Dean Kootz book of the Phantom is excellent, the movie doesn't live up to it, but it's okay in it own right.

Both Planet Terror and Death Proof was a bit of a let down, There is nothing cultish about it.

Final Destination 1 and 2 are great films, loved them, The premise is excellent in the 1st movie, The 2nd one is a good followup, the 3rd one is pretty good, Good ending to the saga I think

From Dusk til Dawn is great, I loved it.

HungFist · Post by **HungFist** » 15 Oct 2007, 20:47

slasher13 wrote: Both Planet Terror and Death Proof was a bit of a let down

slasher13 wrote: Final Destination 1 and 2 are great films, loved them,

that's the most ___ (insert something here, I can't find words to express my feelings) thing I've heard this week

ok,

Flash Point (Hong Kong, 2007) – 3/5
It’s starting to look like SPL was the exception on Wilson Yip’s career, not Dragon Tiger Gate or The White Dragon. Flash Point doesn’t come even close to being this year’s Sha Po Lang. But who says it needs to? Yip and Yen deliver a perfectly adequate cop thriller that goes through all the genre cliches and packs 20 minutes of non-stop action to the end. The story drags badly but the Hong Kong night footage is a treat to the eye, as is the exeptionally beautiful female cast. None of the actors impress with their acting skills, but Yen shows an interesting glimpse of self irony in the beginning. His tougher than though cop act is pretty amusing to follow at times although I’m not sure if he intended it to be taken seriously. The fight action is good but lacks the intensity of Yen’s best work. The grassfield gunfight is pretty terrific, though.

My Heart is That Eternal Rose (Hong Kong, 1989) – 4,5/5
One of the largely undiscovered Hong Kong gems, a true heroic bloodshed classic. Directed by Patrick Tam (After This Our Exile) this movie could be described as Wong Kar Wai in the world of John Woo. The crime drama sports an excellent screenplay, stylish action (although there’s only a few action scenes), beautiful music and visuals (cinematography by Christopher Doyle and David Chung) and an amazingly good performance by young Tony Leung (Chiu Wai). The rest of the main cast features Kenny Bee, Joey Wang and Gordon Liu.

Angel (Iron Angels) (Hong Kong, 1987) – 3,5/5
What’s Elaine Lui + Moon Lee + Yukari Oshima? That’s 150 bodies plus hellava lot of broken bones. Angel features not only one of the most bone crunching femme fatale finales ever but also some excellent gunplay. The scene where this asian Schwarzenegger and two female Rambos go for a rescue mission is in the league of Commando. The soundtrack features some kick ass tunes as well. On the minus side the first half is feels a bit slow, although I’m quite sure it will work notably better on repeated viewings, or alternatively if you’re already very familiar with the main cast.

bradavon · Post by **bradavon** » 15 Oct 2007, 21:55

HungFist wrote:uhm, what?

You do love cult films comparatively more so than mainstream films do you not? That and your bizarre comment that Death Proof is best American film since 2004. If that's not cult worship I don't know what is.