Nuts TV launching 12th of September at 9pm

bradavon · Post by **bradavon** » 05 Sep 2007, 00:01

Yes that's right Nuts magazine is launching a Freeview TV channel (channel 42):

http://www.nuts.tv/

Hopefully it will be like "Men and Motors" before it went all tame

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 05 Sep 2007, 10:46

Let's hope there's plenty fanny and no nuts.

bradavon · Post by **bradavon** » 05 Sep 2007, 14:00

It will go two ways:

1. No T&A and lots of "so called" men's programs = Rubbish
2. Some T&A but very tame

I'd settle for the latter considering, it's a non-subscription Freeview channel. Besides the subscription adults channels are so poor and are more like Benny Hill anyway.

grim_tales · Post by **grim_tales** » 05 Sep 2007, 16:31

So you've seen them (adult channels) then?
They're not hardcore are they? (There's no hardcore allowed in the UK AFAIK).
On the adult channel freeviews all they do is show the same bloody ads for 10 minutes (more like 9 minutes).

bradavon · Post by **bradavon** » 05 Sep 2007, 16:56

Yes I have.

Technically they're hardcore but because of British law you cannot show male or female genitalia (or something like that), certainly not erect penises anyway, it makes it bloody difficult to film porn so instead they opt to show the viewer lots of bum shots (often not pretty) and real close ups of people's legs etc...

Add to that that British porn is usually really cheaply made with ugly men/women (just because you're slim and in your 20s it doesn't make you attractive!). It's not a pleasant site. I reckon they know this as often it's filmed in a "Benny Hill" way, which makes it even worse.

No I've not watched much as like I said it's utter rubbish. The stuff you see on the Free preview is only marginally more tame than what they're allowed to show during subscription.

American porn is considerably better, much more professional too. It's not surprising, American Porn is a multi-million dollar business. Which brings up on of the oddities of America when money & power are involved it's suddenly acceptable.

I'd settle for the sort of stuff they show in the magazine on Nuts TV as at least that is just a bit of fun, and should be more entertaining than The Adult Channel.

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 05 Sep 2007, 16:58

"Hardcore" material at the R18 level is currently prohibited by the facists who control UK television. It's a joke. We live in a country in which chavs are running around stabbing people to death but these bell-ends think seeing some girl get a cock in her is gonna corrupt the nation. The only way you can see it is if it's been passed '18' by the BBFC in which case it's not porn. Will be interesting to see how Film Four handle '9 Songs' (uncut arty porn).

bradavon · Post by **bradavon** » 05 Sep 2007, 17:04

For once Mark I have to agree.

When Filmfour show 9 Songs will be shown late and uncut for sure, it's been given an 18 rating so there is no need to cut it. Most people are more acceptable to "so called" erotic footage now a days than they used to. I doubt anyone will care.

I didn't realise The Adult Channel was the same as the "special R18" rating, in which case it's rubbish too. R18 makes no sense to me, it's too rude to show at 18 so gets it's special rating but then is forced to be cut so much that all the point of the footage in the first place is taken away and therefore making it completely pointless. I'd be surprised if anyone (above 17) would be turned on by R18.

As for 9 Songs (not wanting to get into that discussion again) I believe The BBFC's report explained why they considered it not to be Porn so was given an 18 rating. If it was Porn (which you may disagree with but the dictionary clearly defines) then it would've either been cut or given an R18 rating.

I remember shortly after 9 Songs was released the Porn studios tried to complain it was unfair their work was given R18 but failed as the BBFC rightly explained their work is Porn. It is exists to titillate, 9 Songs does not (how many people would rent 9 Songs to jack off to?). It does of course bring up the question why does 9 Songs exist at all but that's an entirely different discussion.

grim_tales · Post by **grim_tales** » 05 Sep 2007, 17:07

The "Adult Channel" show DVDs are "18" and are often heavily cut from the programmes shown on the channel (not that I've seen the shows on TV).

bradavon · Post by **bradavon** » 05 Sep 2007, 17:09

Do they? There can't be many 18 rated films that The Adult Channel would want to show. They do show a fair few American films which are heavily cut though.

grim_tales · Post by **grim_tales** » 05 Sep 2007, 17:16

Nope I meant the DVDs of "Adult Channel" programs have to be cut (from how they are broadcast on the channel) in order to get the 18 rating. My post was badly worded.
I guess it depends what programmes they are, eg Playboy is really soft.

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 05 Sep 2007, 18:42

bradavon wrote:As for 9 Songs (not wanting to get into that discussion again) I believe The BBFC's report explained why they considered it not to be Porn so was given an 18 rating. If it was Porn (which you may disagree with but the dictionary clearly defines) then it would've either been cut or given an R18 rating.

I disagree with the BBFC's assessment and, yes, we covered this before.

It is exists to titillate, 9 Songs does not

It does, otherwise there's no need for the actual hardcore footage. Explicit softcore could've carried the same message. I know that if I watch it I'll get a stiffy. I'm honest enough (and unpretentious enough) to admit that.

(how many people would rent 9 Songs to jack off to?).

I can't think of any other reason to watch it. But the liberal elite will tell you its art, darling. For the other 98% it's fucking.

degeneration · Post by **degeneration** » 05 Sep 2007, 18:50

I thought R18 films, which are only allowed to be sold in licensed sex shops, were allowed to have things like erect penises in them? And that on the scale of things this was a recent development in british censorship. CAuse you can buy the porn that is shown on the adult channel on dvd in a regular shop, but not the R18 stuff. Gotta be the licensed sex shop. Correct me if I'm wrong here...

bradavon · Post by **bradavon** » 05 Sep 2007, 19:04

Oh right I didn't realise that.

I have seen some of those 18 rated porn DVDs in the shops (no I wasn't looking) they always look so pointless.

Markgway wrote:It does, otherwise there's no need for the actual hardcore footage. Explicit softcore could've carried the same message. I know that if I watch it I'll get a stiffy. I'm honest enough (and unpretentious enough) to admit that.

Of course there are other reasons than to just turn people on. Winterbottom could've been making a point about sex in mainstream media. I don't know but am just pointing out sex per say doesn't always exist to turn someone on.

You must get turned on really easily if you can immediately say the site of people having sex will definitely give you a stiffy. I hear 9 Songs is so completely unerotic or titillating, that would be a pre-request. Do you get a stiffy every time you go to the Beach on the Continent?

You, I, Romero and the like should actually watch 9 Songs as for all we know we've no idea what the footage is like. I would but cannot be bothered to buy it.

But the liberal elite will tell you its art, darling. For the other 98% it's fucking.

I don't recall anyone calling 9 Songs art. Maybe that's what Winterbottom intended though I do not know.

grim_tales · Post by **grim_tales** » 05 Sep 2007, 19:04

Yeah but if you buy it in a regular shop, its not the same as the p0rn shown on the Adult Channel because on DVD, its cut to get the 18 rating.

bradavon · Post by **bradavon** » 05 Sep 2007, 19:09

It would be cut to if it's 18 rated.

That is where it gets a bit silly, it's unerotic and designed to make a point it gets and uncut 18 but footage there to exist purely to turn someone on it gets cut at 18. There is the problem, young kids getting turned on is wrong, unless you're some weirdo who goes to sex shops.

Anyway back on topic: Nuts TV has the potential to be good fun!

degeneration · Post by **degeneration** » 05 Sep 2007, 21:00

According to the Wikipedia entry on the R18 certificate, it is hardcore porn that is mainly under this category and R18 material cannot be broadcast at all in the UK, not even on encrypted broadcasts.

So the R18 is definitely harder than the Adult Channel, and while it doesn't say so, if close ups of male or female genitalia are your thing, then I think you'll be ok with the R18 stuff!

degeneration · Post by **degeneration** » 05 Sep 2007, 21:03

Just checked another link and the adult channel can only show content that would receive a BBFC 18 certificate. If that info is correct, then I don't see why the DVDs should be cut...

http://www.melonfarmers.co.uk/argovhc.htm

grim_tales · Post by **grim_tales** » 05 Sep 2007, 21:55

Interesting.
This is just one example but some DVDs of this show are heavily cut to get to the 18 cert (would be R18 uncut):

Sam gets her Girl

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 05 Sep 2007, 22:37

degeneration wrote:I thought R18 films, which are only allowed to be sold in licensed sex shops, were allowed to have things like erect penises in them?

You can have erections, inner labia, penetration by finger, penis, tongue, semen (but NO female ejaculation), no rough stuff, or abusive contexts. Also no refs towards being underage or dangerous techniques. None of the above R18 material can be shown on Adult TV, but if it's been passed in an '18' it could theoretically be shown on BBC2.

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 05 Sep 2007, 22:42

bradavon wrote:Of course there are other reasons than to just turn people on. Winterbottom could've been making a point about sex in mainstream media. I don't know but am just pointing out sex per say doesn't always exist to turn someone on.

Classic.

Unless it's rape it's gonna turn people on.

It's sex no matter how you dress it up.

You must get turned on really easily if you can immediately say the site of people having sex will definitely give you a stiffy.

Hey, what can I do??

Not all of us need S&M, Brad. I've heard the stories.

Do you get a stiffy every time you go to the Beach on the Continent?

I get a stiffy when I breathe. 8)

You, I, Romero and the like should actually watch 9 Songs as for all we know we've no idea what the footage is like. I would but cannot be bothered to buy it.

Maybe when it's on Filmfour. I need some good whacking material.

I don't recall anyone calling 9 Songs art. Maybe that's what Winterbottom intended though I do not know.

You know what I mean... it's pretentious to say that hardcore sex is included for any reason other than to titilate or represent titilation. If you don't find it sexy Brad maybe the problem's with you...?

bradavon · Post by **bradavon** » 05 Sep 2007, 23:27

Markgway wrote:Unless it's rape it's gonna turn people on.

That wasn't it's "intention" though, what's so complicated about understanding that?

Markgway wrote:It's sex no matter how you dress it up.

Porn doesn't equal sex. If you think anyone think there is no sex in 9 Songs you're deluded.

Markgway wrote:Hey, what can I do?? Not all of us need S&M, Brad. I've heard the stories.

That's just silly. I come back to my beach point, do you get a stiffy every time you see a naked or topless woman?

Markgway wrote:Maybe when it's on Filmfour. I need some good whacking material.

Are they planning to show it? I'd record it just to see what all the fuss (or lack of it) is about.

Markgway wrote:You know what I mean... it's pretentious to say that hardcore sex is included for any reason other than to titilate or represent titilation. If you don't find it sexy Brad maybe the problem's with you...?

I disagree, it's not pretentious to say hardcore sex could have another purpose than to stimulate, that's being very simplistic.

Okay here's an example, those awful "Sex Guide videos" are you honestly saying they're there to turn people on? The sex is so bland and formulaic you'd have to be really desperate to get turned on by them. Those exist to teach couples about sex (how well I've no idea, they're crud), can you honestly be saying they exist to titilate? Come on.

By your argument you must find the Sex Guides sexy and get turned on every time you see female flesh? No not me that is what the dictionary and the BBFC say. Like I said porn and sex are not specifically the same thing.

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 06 Sep 2007, 02:08

bradavon wrote:That wasn't it's "intention" though, what's so complicated about understanding that?

So what was the "intention" of the hardcore in 9 SONGS. Please reveal to us all why it was necessary if not to titilate viewers who would otherwise run screaming from a Michael Winterarse film??

Porn doesn't equal sex.

It doesn't?? I guess I must live a sheltered life.

If you think anyone think there is no sex in 9 Songs you're deluded.

That sentence makes no sense whatsoever.

That's just silly. I come back to my beach point, do you get a stiffy every time you see a naked or topless woman?

Very likely. If she was attractive.

Are they planning to show it?

I don't know. Seems like something they would show.

Okay here's an example, those awful "Sex Guide videos" are you honestly saying they're there to turn people on?

Can someone please put this in their signature???

A sex guide being used to stimulate sexual relations... whatever next???

bradavon · Post by **bradavon** » 06 Sep 2007, 03:20

The sex guide (specifically) isn't there to stimulate, that's what your partner is for stupid

Feel free to have the final say. I'm bored we're going around in circles, as usual.

grim_tales · Post by **grim_tales** » 06 Sep 2007, 08:59

Isn't the guide supposed to turn both partners on/show them what to do? If it didnt it wouldnt be a very good guide

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 06 Sep 2007, 12:31

Yes Grim, but Brad doesn't "GET IT".