Give me your worst asian movies

thelostdragon · Post by **thelostdragon** » 31 Jan 2007, 12:40

Yeah, Shingster! Have you seen "American Commando Ninja"?

HungFist · Post by **HungFist** » 31 Jan 2007, 13:28

tom2681 wrote:
Gogoe
You mean Gojoe, right ?

Yeah, typo.

Might add Crying Fist to the most over-rated list. Not the worst films list, though.

gasteropod · Post by **gasteropod** » 31 Jan 2007, 15:29

LD, I hope you didn't mean 'Ringu'

I remembered another shit one, Nightmare: Horror Game Movie (Korean)

Knetan · Post by **Knetan** » 31 Jan 2007, 16:00

hey,

one comes to mind and one you rightfully haven't seen: Four Dragons.

Now that's low-grade in EVERY aspect.

OF COURSE I reviewed it.

http://www.sogoodreviews.com/reviews/f3.htm#fourdragons

EvaUnit02 · Post by **EvaUnit02** » 31 Jan 2007, 17:15

Some more off the top of head:-
Ju-on
Ringu 2
Naruto Movie 1
Street Fighter Alpha Generations
Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children

tom2681 · Post by **tom2681** » 31 Jan 2007, 17:25

I knew I could count on you guys.

@Ken and Shingster:
I forgot to mention: I'm looking for terrible films with decent budgets.
Low-budget HK movies shot with the director's mom's camcorder don't interest me.

@Eva:
I've seen FF7. Didn't understand any of it.

BiscLimpkit · Post by **BiscLimpkit** » 31 Jan 2007, 17:52

Shingster wrote:Pah, I think all the posters in this thread have either not watched nearly enough Asian films or couldn't tell a truly awful film if it slapped them in the face! What I mean is that there are hundreds of really bad zero-budget, horrendously made straight-to-video films across all Asian countries - particularly HK and Japan. In comparison to these, all the titles so far have at least some level of sophistication when it comes to the process of filmmaking, even if the final result is a shite film.

You make it sound like watching shite films is something to be proud of.

Knetan · Post by **Knetan** » 31 Jan 2007, 18:01

hey,

You mean it isn't?

Damn...

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 01 Feb 2007, 00:18

T.H.E. Professionals is absolutely hideous.

Also see most films made by Chu Yen Ping.

Strangely enough I didn't dislike The Wesley's Mysterious File as much as some... maybe because I had really low expectations?

Shingster · Post by **Shingster** » 01 Feb 2007, 00:44

thelostdragon wrote:Yeah, Shingster! Have you seen "American Commando Ninja"?

Haha no, but I can see how someone could be fooled into checking it out based on the film title and funky VHS coverart

BiscLimpkit wrote:You make it sound like watching shite films is something to be proud of. Laughing

Those who have suffered through enough Godfrey Ho or Lo Wei films can truly appreciate the shite decent budget films Tom's looking for

.

Yi-Long · Post by **Yi-Long** » 01 Feb 2007, 00:48

Dead or Alive (the Tecmo videogame inspired movie) is free to watch on googlevideo, but I cant even force myself to watch it for free. just watched the first 2-3 minutes, looking at an asian chick who looks like she's got down-syndrome, fighting against Ayane, who is played by a white chick in a wig. Fuck that.

That's a movie that deserves to be on any bad-movie list.

grim_tales · Post by **grim_tales** » 01 Feb 2007, 10:25

The "down syndrome" remark is out of order IMO

(Her name is Devon Aoki BTW).

Yi-Long · Post by **Yi-Long** » 01 Feb 2007, 12:22

grim_tales wrote:The "down syndrome" remark is out of order IMO (Her name is Devon Aoki BTW).

Why? I'm not trying to insult anyone.
She just looks like someone who has it. Just google her up.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: She looks like a cross between a person with down-syndrome, and Christina Ricci. Just the way her eyes look I guess.

EvaUnit02 · Post by **EvaUnit02** » 01 Feb 2007, 13:13

FFS even a total horsey like Haylie Duff is better looking than Devon Aoki.

thelostdragon · Post by **thelostdragon** » 01 Feb 2007, 14:23

Holly Valance looks awesome in thie film, though. And that's about it. The fight in the rain showed some night imagery, but it's just pants of course.

Eric Roberts rocks, though.

RickyTheDragonSteamboat · Post by **RickyTheDragonSteamboat** » 01 Feb 2007, 15:32

The worst in recent memory.
HK:
- Fatal Contact
- New Police Story
- The Eye 2
Japan:
- Casshern
- The Ring
- Battle Royale 2
Korea:
- Shadowless Sword
- Typhoon
- The Duelist

There are plenty more, I just can't remember at the moment.

tom2681 · Post by **tom2681** » 01 Feb 2007, 15:58

How could anyone not like Shadowless Sword ?
You're weird, Ricky.

Anyway, you've managed to put 3 films from my "top 10 favorite movies" in that list.

RickyTheDragonSteamboat · Post by **RickyTheDragonSteamboat** » 01 Feb 2007, 16:35

tom2681 wrote:How could anyone not like Shadowless Sword ?
You're weird, Ricky.

Anyway, you've managed to put 3 films from my "top 10 favorite movies" in that list.

I've never really been a big fan of Korean films in general but Shadowless Sword was one of the most disappointing films I had ever seen. My problem with this film (and many other Korean films) is that it never really knows what it wants to be. It borrows from every other movie and genre you can think of, right down to the terrible Captain Jack Sparrow impersonator. The action was okay but I could care less because because in the end this film was just another cliche'd Korean TV soap opera, something I find unbearable.

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 01 Feb 2007, 18:28

She's not attractive... Aoki, I mean.

Holly Valance? Hell, yeah, I'd bump that snatch.

grim_tales · Post by **grim_tales** » 01 Feb 2007, 19:03

OK fair do's Mark, its just for Yi to say Aoki looks like she has downs is low IMO

Holly was one (only?) reason I'd see Neighbours

Then Michelle Ang

gasteropod · Post by **gasteropod** » 01 Feb 2007, 19:16

Stormriders
A Man Called Hero
The Duel

Yi-Long · Post by **Yi-Long** » 01 Feb 2007, 19:39

grim_tales wrote:OK fair do's Mark, its just for Yi to say Aoki looks like she has downs is low IMO

Well... she does. Just look objectively at her face, without being PC about it. I'm sure I cant be the only one in the world who thinks she looks like a cross between a person with down, and Christina Ricci?
I'm not trying to be insulting groups of people here, or the girl herself. I'm just making an observation based on how she looks.

tom2681 · Post by **tom2681** » 01 Feb 2007, 19:55

Yes, she does look like that.
Back in my day, we used to laugh at them and call them mongoloids.

But we can't do that anymore.
I hate political correctness.

@Gasteropod:
Those are "proper" bad movies.
Even I don't like them.

grim_tales · Post by **grim_tales** » 01 Feb 2007, 20:09

The Mongoloids/Mongols are a race of people Tom?

Yi I still think its below the belt and offensive. So you can tell just by looking at her face? It's not a great face in the pictures I've seen but still

tom2681 · Post by **tom2681** » 01 Feb 2007, 21:49

@Grim:
Mongols -> Inhabitants of Mongolia.
Mongoloids -> People with down syndrome.

Devon Aoki is just plain ugly IMO.