The Ultimate Bullets Worst of Chinese Chinema Thread

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 13 Aug 2006, 18:45

A/V (3)
Armour of God II: Operation Condor (3)
Boys are Easy (3)
Bruce Lee: a Dragon Story (3)
Colour of the Loyalty (3)
The Conman (3)
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (3)
Divergence (3)
The Dragon and the Tiger Kids (3)
Election (3)
Enter the Phoenix (3)
Fantasy Mission Force (3)
Fearless Hyena II (3)
Gen Y Cops (3)
Heroic Duo (3)
The Heroine (3)
House of Flying Daggers (3)
Love Battlefield (3)
Mr. Nice Guy (3)
My Lucky Stars (3)
New Police Story (3)
Not Scared To Die (3)
Pedicab Driver (3)
Perhaps Love (3)
Running Out of Time (3)
Street of Fury (3)
Super Car Criminals (3)
The Tattoo Connection (3)
Time and Tide (3)
Tokyo Raiders (3)
A Touch of Zen (3)
The Tricky Master (3)
Twins Effect (3)
Twins Effect II (3)
Two Champions Of Shaolin (3)
2 Young (3)
The Wall (3)
Who Am I? (3)
The Yellow-Faced Tiger (3)
Yesterday Once More (3)

Recorded: IVAN DRAGO, BISC LIMPKIT, YI-LONG, TOM.

BiscLimpkit · Post by **BiscLimpkit** » 13 Aug 2006, 19:40

Haha here we go...

Colour of the Loyalty
2 Young
Twins Effect
Twins Effect II
Enter the Phoenix
New Police Story
Heroic Duo
Divergence
Yesterday Once More
A/V

thelostdragon · Post by **thelostdragon** » 13 Aug 2006, 21:17

The Twins Effect II
Naked Poison II
Model from Hell
Initial D

Hmmmm... I haven't really seen a lot of God awful films from HK tbh. Or is it just that I can't remember them?

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 14 Aug 2006, 02:24

Sorry, LD. I need TEN films.

You've seen loads of Chinese movies; it should be easy to find ten crappers.

My trouble will be narrowing it down!!

thelostdragon · Post by **thelostdragon** » 14 Aug 2006, 06:57

OK, added "Initial D"...

Yi-Long · Post by **Yi-Long** » 14 Aug 2006, 11:25

Super Car Criminals should be in that list.
Who Am I?
The Tricky Master
Street of Fury
Tokyo Raiders
The Wall
Gen Y Cops
Armour of God 2
The Conman
My Lucky Stars

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 14 Aug 2006, 13:41

thelostdragon wrote:OK, added "Initial D"...

Awesome. Now find six more. 8)

Oh, and I'm not here to question anyone's personal taste, as you can choose whatever you like to slag off... but seriously, ARMOUR OF GOD II? You do realise this is the WORST list, Yi-Long??

EvaUnit02 · Post by **EvaUnit02** » 14 Aug 2006, 13:57

1. Lost in Time (Derek Yee)
2. Kung Fu Hustle (Stephen Chow)
3. Police Story 4 aka Jackie Chan's First Strike
4. Mr Nice Guy

I haven't seen that many Chinese films, those are the only ones I found truly dire.

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 15 Aug 2006, 00:48

It's amazing how many Bulleteers can't count to ten.

I blame the education system.

tom2681 · Post by **tom2681** » 15 Aug 2006, 01:14

Let's see...

- Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.
- House of Flying Daggers.
- Perhaps Love.
- Election.
- A Touch of Zen.
- Time and Tide.
- Love Battlefield.
- Pedicab Driver.
- Boys are Easy (Wong Jing).
- Running out of Time.

Yes, this is a "Worst of" list.

EvaUnit02 · Post by **EvaUnit02** » 15 Aug 2006, 02:03

Markgway wrote:It's amazing how many Bulleteers can't count to ten.

I blame the education system.

Pfft. I already explained that I haven't seen a total of 10 Chinese films that I consider truly dire.

Killer Meteor · Post by **Killer Meteor** » 15 Aug 2006, 10:23

Tom2681 wrote:Let's see...

- Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.
- House of Flying Daggers.
- Perhaps Love.
- Election.
- A Touch of Zen.
- Time and Tide.
- Love Battlefield.
- Pedicab Driver.
- Boys are Easy (Wong Jing).
- Running out of Time.

Yes, this is a "Worst of" list.

A Touch Of Zen? Surely you jest

tom2681 · Post by **tom2681** » 15 Aug 2006, 11:58

ToZ is easily the worst swordplay film I've ever seen.

The fact that it was made in the early 70's isn't an excuse.

Dragon Inn and Come Drink with Me are much better films.

thelostdragon · Post by **thelostdragon** » 15 Aug 2006, 12:16

Tom's chose those films just for the sake of wanting to be provocative. How in the world can "Initial D" be better than "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon". CTHD is not the masterpiece that it is acclaimed as, but certainly doesn't belong in a list of the worst Chinese films.

Tom, this thread is about what you think are really badly made films and not about what you think are the most overrated films.

Yi-Long · Post by **Yi-Long** » 15 Aug 2006, 12:18

Markgway wrote:
Oh, and I'm not here to question anyone's personal taste, as you can choose whatever you like to slag off... but seriously, ARMOUR OF GOD II? You do realise this is the WORST list, Yi-Long??

Oh man I thought it was horrendous. There werent any good fights in it, just little brief exchanges. There wasnt any good action or stunts in it, apart maybe from the spear landing 2 inches from Jackie's face (which could have been thrown from 2 meters away or something... so it isnt even all that special). The story did absolutely nothing for me. The acting by all involved was horrible, with the women in the usual annoying roles they so often have in bad Jackie movies (see Who Am I for further evidence...), and finally, Jackie's haircut just sucked.

To be fair, I've only seen the american VHS of the movie, which was dubbed and might have been cut. I dont know. Anyway, I dont have an interest in watching it again (I have given the VHS multiple tries, like 4-5 views or something, and I believe it was on the BBC once...)

thelostdragon · Post by **thelostdragon** » 15 Aug 2006, 12:23

I love the film's chase scene where Jackie is escaping with his motorcycle again + the finale in the big nazi station is awesome. Although a little too dark visually.

tom2681 · Post by **tom2681** » 15 Aug 2006, 12:30

LD wrote:Tom's chose those films just for the sake of wanting to be provocative.

No. If I wanted to be provocative, I would have put cult classics in that list.

LD wrote:Tom, this thread is about what you think are really badly made films

Exactly. I have seen over 200 chinese films.

Initial D is a good movie. CTHD is not.
It is the worst chinese film I have ever seen.

I am not implying that CTHD is the worst chinese film ever made. I've just never seen a worse film.

Anyway, this thread is about opinions, not facts.

LD wrote:CTHD is not the masterpiece that it is acclaimed as, but certainly doesn't belong in a list of the worst Chinese films.

-Zhang Ziyi acting very badly: check.
-Chow Yun-Fat and Michelle Yeoh incapable of speaking mandarin: check.
-Stupid americanized storyline: check.
-Obvious stunt doubles: check.
-Over-the-top choregraphies with visible wires: check.
-Unnecessary drama in the desert for 40 minutes: check.

Nope, can't think of a worse movie. Sorry.

Lourdes · Post by **Lourdes** » 15 Aug 2006, 13:09

So you liked HoFD more than CTHD?

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 15 Aug 2006, 14:25

EvaUnit02 wrote:Pfft. I already explained that I haven't seen a total of 10 Chinese films that I consider truly dire.

Anyone who would class Lost in Time, Kung Fu Hustle, First Strike, and Mr Nice Guy as dire doesn't know what dire is. So no loss.

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 15 Aug 2006, 14:28

Tom's right: it is all about opinion, however whacked out that opinion maybe. Pedicab Driver, anyone? WTF??? I'm still compiling my list. I'm putting some thought into it.

tom2681 · Post by **tom2681** » 15 Aug 2006, 14:28

Lourdes wrote:So you liked HoFD more than CTHD?

Only because the costumes are prettier.

Yi-Long · Post by **Yi-Long** » 15 Aug 2006, 15:35

Markgway wrote:
EvaUnit02 wrote:Pfft. I already explained that I haven't seen a total of 10 Chinese films that I consider truly dire.
Anyone who would class Lost in Time, Kung Fu Hustle, First Strike, and Mr Nice Guy as dire doesn't know what dire is. So no loss.

Havent seen Lost in Time, but I agree with Eva about Mr. Nice Guy and First Strike: Utter CRAP.

Kung Fu Hustle is great though. I would have liked to have seen a bit more of Stephen in it, but as it was it was already great, and had some very good action. Hell, that movie had better action in it then most of Jackie's latest efforts.

edit: I forgot about one of the absolute worst movies from HK I have ever seen. Crying Heart. That movie is godawfull. It's about a mom and her mature son who is mentally handicapped (played by Patrick Tam) It's a so-called tearjerker but the woman playing the mother (a well known HK actress in TV series, but I forgot her name) is absolutely horrible, using all the tricks in the book to portray an ailing and sad woman who's strugling to keep going). I believe she's dying of cancer in the movie... and honestly... I wish she wouldnt struggle and just end it, so we wouldnt have to cope with all that crap...

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 15 Aug 2006, 17:15

So far I've narrowed my list down to 101 pieces of crap.

This may take a while...

thelostdragon · Post by **thelostdragon** » 15 Aug 2006, 23:52

Let me compare your opinions with "Initial D" (and yes, I know it is based on a manga).

Tom2681 wrote:Initial D is a good movie. CTHD is not.
It is the worst chinese film I have ever seen.

-Zhang Ziyi acting very badly: check.

I take it that Jay Chou, Edison Chen, Chapman To and their friends were all better actors in "Initial D".

-Chow Yun-Fat and Michelle Yeoh incapable of speaking mandarin: check.

All the lead cast of "Initial D" are incapable of speaking Japanese.

-Stupid americanized storyline: check.

Stupid HKized storyline in order to fit the new HK MTV generation brats.

-Obvious stunt doubles: check.

LOL, to KC_Woman even in Jackie's movies were obvious stunt doubles. You will see the stunt doubles in almost any film if you look for them.

-Over-the-top choregraphies with visible wires: check.

"Twins Effect 2" does not have over-the-top choreography, then?

Visible wires? Oh, come on! "Once Upon a Time in China" has them even more. And you're not telling me that you didn't like the film. BTW, in which scenes of CTHD can we see the wires? Any screenshots maybe? It's not that I don't believe you. Would just love to see for myself.

-Unnecessary drama in the desert for 40 minutes: check.

Unneccesary drama in form of Anthony Wong's character!

Anyway, this thread is about opinions, not facts.

True. But we can discuss, can't we? Isn't that the interesting part when filmfans gather?

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 16 Aug 2006, 01:11

Too much shit to wade through... honestly the dire movies outweigh the classics by about 8-1. But without being definitive (I've left off a few of the more obscure movies - and I might feel differently next week) here goes...

The Boxer's Omen
Dr. Lamb
Fantasia
Fantasy Mission Force
Hidden Heroes
Horrible High Heels
Jiang Hu
King of Robbery
T.H.E. Professional
Wolf Devil Woman

I excluded the excruciating 'The Lady Punisher' because I'm not sure if it's Chinese or Thai-produced?