What general film/series have you just seen.. marks out of 5

[Markgway]

Inferno (1980-Italy) **
Stylish, but plodding sequel to Suspiria; striking aesthetics mask dull, illogical story.
A more engaging leading man might have helped... a bit.

No Man's Land (1987-USA) **
Rookie cop goes undercover to foil a Porsche theft ring.
Not terribly convincing... but tolerable enough.

[RetroRobot]

Also recently saw No Man's Land... A decent time waster, but pretty underwhelming.

Fresh- 1994

A clever and captivating twist on the 90's hood flick, where a kid takes down the cold hearted thugs he's selling drugs for, by applying the principles of chess to real life. Some of the kid actors are pretty bad, but the lead, Sean Nelson is really good, and deserved more than the tv carreer he had after this. Guys like Sam Jackson and Giancarlo Esposito also pop by in good roles. A fine film and underrated effort that perhaps drowned a bit among its flashier genre peers.

[Markgway]

The Stranger (1986-USA-Argentina) *½
An amnesiac struggles to remember who wants her dead and why?
Cheap-looking, amateurish thriller. There's a clever twist, which actually doesn't help since the direction is so ham-fisted. The leads are deserving of better material.

[RetroRobot]

Down and Out in Beverly Hills- 1986

The only movie from director Paul Mazursky that I like. Though Moon Over Parador had a few funny scenes, but that was about it. This was part of a prevalent trend in the 80's of Hollywood remaking French films, mostly comedies or farces if you will. There's really no knee slapping material here, but the fun comes from the characters and the situations the film extracts from the one gag of a bum living with a rich family. Good performances all around, a nice and relaxing "around the house" vibe and some playful social commentary is what makes it an enjoyable movie. Though as much as I like, and think that Mazursky does a good job here, this is the kind of material that Blake Edwards excelled at. I would really have liked to see him direct this, but that was not to be. A fun film that return to regularly.

[Markgway]

Three for the Road (1987-USA) *
Congressional aide Charlie Sheen drives (because a plane ride would be so much less fun) his asshole boss' troublesome daughter across country to a psychiatric institution for troubled teens! What laffs! Cue shifting loyalties and lurve in this irritating youth comedy; stupid, unfunny, and slightly offensive.

[saltysam]

Get Carter 4/5 Excellent british gangster classic with Michael Caine at the top of his game.unfortunately while the Blu looks decent enough (certainly a big improvement on the dvd) Warners have fucked up by releasing this with the opening 2 minute sequence dubbed into something americans could supposedly undestand.this is replicated on both the UK & USA releases.

[HungFist]

Road North (Finland, 2012) [DCP] – 3/5
Finnish cinema in Japanese movie theater is quite a rare pleasure. Mika Kaurismäki’s road movie follows a middle aged man whose no-good father shows up behind his door for the first time in 40 years and asks him for a road trip to Lapland. It’s mostly a mediocre film in its genre, with some meetings down the road better than others, and some nice landscapes, but the real attraction is the leading cast. Samuli Edellman (son) is a popular singer and an alright actor, while Vesa-Matti Loiri (the father) is a very charismatic actor for over 50 years and a terrific singer as well. The two have pretty good chemistry and some real standout scenes.

If you’re not afraid of spoiling the film’s best scene, here it is. The two girls bet these guys can’t sing:
http://youtu.be/3WNIXRl41UQ?t=1m19s

[Markgway]

Lifeforce (1985-UK) **

Ambitious, but bizarre, campy, and incoherent sci-fi-horror.
For all its flaws, still one of Tobe Hooper's more watchable efforts.
One of these stars is for the glorious nude body of stunning 20-year-old French actress Mathilda May.

[RetroRobot]

Im quite ambivalent when it comes to Lifeforce. Sometimes I enjoy it for what it is, and sometimes I just see all its flaws. Def one of those flicks where I have to be in a special kind of mood to watch.

Mercury Rising- 1998

Watching Bruce Willis struggle with a screeching autistic kid while to trying to shoot badguys is not my idea of a good time.

Father of the Bride- 1991

Why do I do this to myself? Well, it was on tv and for some inexplicable reason I decide to torture myself out of pure boredom. Fucking hell, this has to be the whitest movie ever made. Who could possibly enjoy this shit? Outside of Three Amigos and to some extent Planes, Trains and Automobiles, I never liked Steve Martin or thought he was funny. I just don't see the appeal. Same goes for Billy Crystal and Robin Williams who I downright despise. How are these guys comedy icons? THEY'RE NOT FUCKING FUNNY! Humor is subjective blah, blah, blah.... yeah, to a point. I've seen weather forecasts that were funnier than these dudes. And what is with that stupid Martin Short accent. There's no such accent in the world.... again, it's not fucking funny. Holy shit... where's the tylenol!

[Markgway]

Im quite ambivalent when it comes to Lifeforce. Sometimes I enjoy it for what it is, and sometimes I just see all its flaws. Def one of those flicks where I have to be in a special kind of mood to watch.

Not every movie offers a possessed Patrick Stewart convulsing whilst London burns under Vampire attack!

Fucking hell, this has to be the whitest movie ever made. Who could possibly enjoy this shit?

White people?

Outside of Three Amigos and to some extent Planes, Trains and Automobiles, I never liked Steve Martin or thought he was funny. I just don't see the appeal.

Really? I rather like Steve Martin. The Man with Two Brains, The Lonely Guy, My Blue Heaven, parts of The Jerk... Often he's better than the material.
He's also good in a straight role in David Mamet's The Spanish Prisoner.

Same goes for Billy Crystal and Robin Williams who I downright despise.

Crystal I like. City Slickers is a persona favourite of mine.

Williams less so. I actually prefer his subdued dramatic work to the zany "HEY!" comedy he used to be known for.

And what is with that stupid Martin Short accent. There's no such accent in the world.... again, it's not fucking funny.

I think it's supposed to be French... and yeah, it was annoying.

I take it you won't be watching the sequel?

[RetroRobot]

No white people I ever wanna meet then.

And I actually have seen the sequel, though I never made it all the through.... it was worse than the first one, if that is at all possible.

I can tolerate Crystal in Running Scared and City Slickers, but tha's it. Robin Williams is like nails on a chalkboard to me.

[Markgway]

Welcome to the Jungle (2012-Puerto Rico-USA-UK) **
Surprisingly tolerable comedy runs out of ideas after about half an hour and relies too often on crude humour and profanity for laughs; Jean-Claude Van Damme in an extended cameo is very funny, however.

Murder by Death (1976-USA) *½
Disappointing farce parodies the murder mystery genre, but Neil Simon's script is beset by tired gags and lazy writing. Flat direction and a dull mystery/multiple reveal resolution make this vastly inferior to the snappier and funnier 'Clue'. Peter Sellers mines a few chuckles as a politically incorrect Charlie, I mean Sidney Wang.

[RetroRobot]

Nothing But Trouble- 1991

I know that 99,9% of the worlds population hates this movie.... but I love it. I love the oddness, I love Chevy Chase as a dickish businessman, the deformed man babies, the Brazillionaires, Tupac and Digital Underground busting rhymes, John Candy in Drag, Aykroyd eating hot dogs, young Demi Moore and so on. It's all over the fucking map and ten different colors of weird, but it all works for me, for some reason. I laugh at the exact same things I laughed at in '91, which to me is the true test of a good comedy.


Warlock- 1989

Slightly uneven, but overall entertaining fantasy action flick with lots of good old FX work and a cool premise. Yeah, it certainly borrows a little from Highlander, but is still very much its own movie. Julian Sands is a scary villain, and Richard Grant and Lori Singer has some nice interplay. I don't remember how the sequel was, but I remember it being pretty bad, though im still getting it to see if im right or wrong.

[Markgway]

I know that 99,9% of the worlds population hates this movie.... but I love it.

I'd rather watch Father of the Bride again!

[RetroRobot]

I would rather watch the collective works of Seltzer and Friedberg on a loop than subject myself to FOTB again. Still can't believe I did it that last time.

[Markgway]

Crimewave (1985-USA) **
I get what they were trying to do... it just doesn't pay off.
Wacky slapstick of this sort works better in short Tex Avery cartoons.

[RetroRobot]

You would think that a Sam Raimi film written by the Cohen brothers would hit the spot. But I remember not liking it as well, though it has been years if not decades since I watched it.

[saltysam]

Gregory's Girl 3.5/5 Charming british comedy from Bill Forsyth, i looked up Dee Hepburn on IMDB after watching ans she's now 51 the new blu-ray has a nice touch intended or not,the film starts with the BBFC "A" certificate card.

[Markgway]

I think some distributors now include the old BBFC cards for nostalgic purposes.

[Markgway]

Silver Bullet (1985-USA) **½
One of the better Stephen King horror adaptations.
Quite stylish direction and practical monster effects make up.
Corey Haim makes for an unusually sympathetic movie kid.

Armed Response (1986-USA) *
Cheap, wooden, and pretty dumb Asian-themed actioner.
David Carradine impersonates a coffee table, Lee Van Cleaf wishes he'd retired.
A couple of good car stunts (at the end) and Conan Lee cutting off his own finger.

[HungFist]

Armed Response (1986-USA) *
Cheap, wooden, and pretty dumb Asian-themed actioner.
David Carradine impersonates a coffee table, Lee Van Cleaf wishes he'd retired.
A couple of good car stunts (at the end) and Conan Lee cutting off his own finger.

So the best thing about the film was car stunts and Conan Lee cutting off his finger...

[Markgway]

3 Days to Kill (2013-France-USA-Greece-Russia) *½
One can only assume Liam Neeson rejected Luc Besson's script for Taken 3 before it was turned into this misguided Kevin Costner vehicle. Gravel-voiced CIA hitman Costner is forced to hunt down an international terrorist in Paris whilst looking after his stroppy teenage daughter. The bigger catch - he's dying and needs an experimental drug only the agency has. Director McG struggles to find a consistent tone (sometimes it's blackly comic, other times serious and sappy - the subplot with the African squatters is a dead duck) and manages to elicit some odd performances from known actors. Costner (whom I normally like) looks bored, True Grit's Hailee Steinfeld (as the daughter) struggles with a poorly written character, whilst Amber Heard's work is almost impossible to describe - in the opening scene she appears as a normal and plain analyst, from thereon in a horny vamp who enjoys shooting people and pops in and out of the story at will. Costner's terminal brain illness (and its treatment) makes no sense - the more cured he supposedly is the worse his symptoms get! There's the usual dose of R-rated masquerading as PG-13 type violence, but who cares...? If Taken hadn't worked it might've ended up something like this...

[Markgway]

The Three Musketeers (2011-Germany-France-UK-USA) *½
Did the world really need another version of this classic Dumas tale?
No!

[Markgway]

Robocop (2014-USA) **½
OK. First thing to say is that this isn't a scene for scene remake of the 1987 original. It's very much it's own, different movie. The title and selected key concepts are the only real common denominators. The satire has been almost eliminated, in its place a more emotional story which deals with Murphy's family and the morality of Robocop's creation. This isn't a bad idea, however only, let's say, 50% of the film actually works. Too much time is devoted to CGI video game-like action sequences that are devoid of impact - not the fault of the much derided PG-13 rating but one of modern filmmaking technique. The corporate villainy is too fuzzy and forced, Michael Keaton missing the mark as OCP's heartless chairman. Joel Kinnaman is perfectly fine as Murphy/Robocop, Gary Oldman steals most of his scenes as a sympathetic scientist. Far from the turkey one might have feared, but a disappointment? Perhaps, if you're expectations were anything higher than moderate. Sam Jackson's media commentator breaks up the story momentum, but remains one of the more potent, interesting new ideas.

[HungFist]

Have you seen the director's earlier films, Tropa de elite (Elite Squad)? The first one is quite good, and the second one is supposed to be excellent but I haven't seen it yet. Very violent, strong political undertones.

As for Robocop there were reports at some point that he was very frustrated with the studio turning down 9 out of every 10 ideas he brought to the project... Of course he quickly denied it, but surely he had to deny it if he ever wished to work in Hollywood again.

I haven't seen the Robocop remake but it's a shame if people who don't know the director's earlier work think the film's problems were because of him. Most probably they weren't.

He seemed like a perfect choice for new Robocop, but then again, why choose a talented guy if you're gonna refuse 90% of the ideas he brings to the project? Sounds similar to what Hollywood has been doing with Asian directors for decades - utter waste...