What general film/series have you just seen.. marks out of 5

[Markgway]

So, can we now class Kinjite as gritty realism?

[RetroRobot]

Fixing the Shadow/Beyond the Law- 1992

I think Charlie Sheen is quite underrated as an actor. On the one side, I never thought he turned in anything awards worthy as such, but I often think he was better than the movies he appeared in. And back in the 90's video store cruising days, I would often pick flicks solely based on his mug being on the cover.

He's certainly the best thing in this one, alongside Michael Madsen. But everything else feels a little "Hollywood fakey" like. Which is funny, if stacked up against the other early 90's film covering the same material, Stone Cold. That movie was supposedly the "big dumb action" version of the undercover cop in a biker gang premise, while this one is the more serious treatment, based on real events.

The whole biker culture aspect feels more authentic in Stone Cold, than it does here, even if Charlie Sheen is a much better actor than ex-NFL star Brian Bosworth. But even so, this is not a bad film overall. It's entertaining, it has some effective scenes (and some stupid ones) and it generally gets the job done. If I had to chose, I would definitely pick Stone Cold. More entertainment value, more action, better soundtrack, cooler characters and more authentic vibe, even if the story is more ridiculous. But hey, see em' both if you haven't. They both make my top ten faves list.

[Shingster]

So, can we now class Kinjite as gritty realism?

I reckon so!

[Markgway]

Clue (1985-USA) ***
Cleverly-scripted, very witty movie 'adaptation' of popular murder mystery board game. The cast do a sterling job, with Tim Curry a standout as the British butler. There are plot holes, especially in the 'what really happened' ending, but writer-director Jonathan Lynn keeps everything moving along nicely. Good fun.

[HungFist]

The World’s End (UK, 2013) [DCP] – 2.5/5
An alright sci-fi / drinking comedy. Fun idea and some good jokes, but I can’t help to think that Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg are some of the most over-rated filmmakers out there. They make fun of flashy Hollywood action films by editing, filming and scoring their own movies in the exact same way. As the joke grows old, their films stop being a parodies and become what they're supposed to make fun of. Or perhaps they really do think that's great cinema?

[Markgway]

The Lookout (2012-France-Belgium-Italy) **
A cop hunts down the bank-robbing sniper who murdered his son. Muddled thriller takes on too many tangents and short changes its audience at the conclusion.

See No Evil (2006-USA) *
A group of delinquents are trapped in a derelict hotel with a hulking serial killer whose party trick is plucking out eyeballs. Appallingly nasty stuff treats human suffering as a sick joke - a peculiar vehicle for WWE wrestler Kane who may be this generation's answer to Tor Johnson.

[HungFist]

Machete Kills (USA, 2013) [DCP] – 2/5
Poor sequel completely misses the point. These types of films are meant to be so bold, arrogant and exploitative that they automatically become slightly humorous, yet cool because of their ballsiness. Machete Kills is so ridiculously over-the-top that it resembles a mixture of Superman and a Leslie Nielsen movie. Cutting down on violence and sex further hurts the movie and makes it nothing but a lame joke that's unlikely to amuse exploitation fans and won’t be understood by mainstream audiences. Still, it must be admitted that the film is not really boring with its train wreck appeal and all the cool actors.

[Markgway]

It's hard to believe that any but the most saturated gorehound would find 'Machete Kills' not violent enough!

[RetroRobot]

The weather is kinda shifting here, so like Kramer said to Elaine in the video store, "What you need is some summertime adolescent hijinks".... or that's what I told myself, hence the latest selection.

Side Out- 1990

Nice and breezy volleyball beach movie with C. Thomas Howell, Courtney Thorne Smith and, as the trailer puts it, Thirty Something's Peter Horton. Lots of sunny So-Cal vibe, beach babes in neon bikinis and a nice blend of comedy, drama and romance mixed in with sports element. A real feel-good flick with an infectious summer feel.


Encino Man- 1992

Sean Astin and Pauly Shore defrosts caveman Brendan Fraser in 90's Cali suburbs and hilarity ensues. Lots of fun gags, awful 90's fashion and a tolerable Shore... which is far from a given. But he's actually pretty funny here, as are Astin and Fraser. A stronger ending with more jokes and less schmaltz would have been prefered, but still a fun flick.


Summer School- 1987

Total feel-good 80's flick with a real chill vibe, great cast and plenty of quotable dialogue. I remember first seeing Mark Harmon when he played serial killer Ted Bundy in a tv movie. So when I watched this for the first time, as the second thing seeing him in, I just halfway waited for him to kill or molest the female students at any moment, despite it obviously not being that kind of movie at all. Took me a few watches to shake that, and warm to his comedic performance here. But a very enjoyable film from beginning to end.

[HungFist]

It's hard to believe that any but the most saturated gorehound would find 'Machete Kills' not violent enough!

The violence in Machete Kills is very cartoonish and always silly (an impression which is only supported by the rest of the film, which is even more cartoonish and silly). Although the film is full of decapitations and other extreme things, their depiction is toned down to get rid of any real nastiness. This is the opposite from typical exploitation films which often try to make even "lighter" acts of violence more gory and gruesome.

Well, I guess it's still a better parody than Scary Movies, Epic Movies and whatever crap the others are doing.

[Markgway]

Operation: Endgame (2009-USA) *½
Two rival sets of spies try to wipe each other out whilst trapped in an underground bunker.
Loud, violent, profane black comedy doesn't make any sense and quickly wears out its welcome.

The Divide (2011-Germany-USA-Canada) *½
A nuclear explosion traps a bunch of high rise residents in a bomb shelter.
Ugly, sadistic drama-horror exists merely to confirm that humans aren't worth saving.

[RetroRobot]

That's some dark shit, Mark.... you need some sunshine in your life. Maybe some My Little Pony or a Full House marathon.

[RetroRobot]

Flight of the Intruder- 1991

There are good movies, there are bad movies and then there are pointless movies. Not necessaily bad, but you wonder why they were even made. And this was one of those. I love 'Nam and 'Nam related flicks, but this one just did zero for me. Didn't care about any of the characters at all, none of the action was remotely engaging and the story didn't move me one iota. It feels like everything here is just going through the motions, including the actors. And with guys like Willem Dafoe and Danny Glover that's pretty sad.

Also, why would Danny Glover even be here when he did very similar material a few years earlier in BAT21. And what the fuck ever happened to Brad Johnson? I guess this film is what happened. It kinda wants to be Top Gun and a little bit Platoon plus other borrowed material but it fails miserably at everything it tries and rightfully bombed at the box office. I can genuinly say that I feel like I completely wasted my time with this one. More so, than when watching a really crap flick. At least those get under my skin in a way and illicit some form of emotion, even if it's negative. This was just like eating one of those bland, flavorless rice cakes that's neither tasty or gross... it's just there. Glad I only spent about 5 euros on this. My advice... don't bother.

[Markgway]

Assassins (1995-USA-France) **
Disappointing potboiler; overlong and only occasionally thrilling.
Stallone is fine, but Banderas is appallingly hammy here.

Born in East L.A. (1987-USA) **
Minor, but not unpleasant comedy.
Cheech Marin is a better actor than he is a writer and director.

[Markgway]

Dolls (1986-USA) **
Creepy, but minor horror from the makers of Re-Animator.

[RetroRobot]

Airborne- 1993

instead of me ranting on, im just gonna link to Nostalgia Critic's vid review as it is spot on and fucking hilarious.

http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videol ... 7-airborne


Juice- 1992

Tupac gets a gun, goes bonkers and starts capping his friends in this "hood classic" sporting a great soundtrack, some real tense scenes and lots of 90's New York street vibe.


Carwash- 1976

"The fly... flies again... bzzzzz!" I fucking love this movie. One of the best ensemble cast movies ever, sweet soundtrack, tons of quotable dialogue, funny gags, great characters and a smooth 70's vibe.

[RetroRobot]

Romeo Must Die- 2000

This was on tv, so I thought hey WTF. Hadn't seen this in a loooong time... and for good reason. This is fucking terrible! the wire fu is so bad it hurts your eyes. The story is boring as balls and all the same old, tired race humor is just regurgitated ad infinitum. Oh, and Vancouver passing for Oakland.... really? Really? What is this... Rumble in the Bronx? At least Aaliyah is ridiculously hot, but that's about it. Not that I remembered this one fondly, but I sure didn't think it would be this bad.

[Markgway]

Enemy Territory (1987-USA) **
White insurance salesman is trapped in a hellhole tower block with a gang of black racist psychos who call themselves "the Vampires".
Decent exploitation premise; pedestrian execution.
Ray Parker, Jr.'s only starring role (as a nice black dude).

[Markgway]

Goon (2011-Canada-USA) *½
I don't know much about ice hockey, but is random violence a part of the sport? Seems it's OK for players to stop the game every so often and punch the shit out of each other (there's more blood in this than in Bloodsport!). It's practically encouraged with savage fans and coaches baying for blood. Yikes! Regardless... film isn't funny (I laughed once and can't remember what at...) and celebrates thuggery. Even Seann William Scott deserves better than this mindless, foul-mouthed "comedy".

[Markgway]

Oh yeah, I remember now. I laughed at the comment about the girl singing the national anthem. That's it.

[Markgway]

Hiding Out (1987-USA) **
Slight, but watchable comedy with Jon Cryer as a thirtyish stock broker 'hiding out' from the mob as a 17-year-old high school pupil.

[RetroRobot]

Above the Rim- 1994

Solid B-ball/hood flick with good performances by Duane Martin, Leon, Marlon Wayans and a menacing Tupac. And one who had the wits to put a sports spin on the, already by this time, tired formula of the black urban drama who were in vogue in the early 90's. Cool soundtrack too. I recall picking up the CD (remember those?) in a music store in Paris in '94 before even seeing the film. And just walking around the Parisian streets with my discman (remember those?) and a bag of Heineken, while my mom and sister were visiting museums. Good times.

Tremors- 1990

Probably my fave creature feature flick of all time. Superb chemistry between Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward, plus a fun roster of characters, funny ass dialogue and of course those darn earthworms. Love the good old special effects here, which are kinda minimal, but so effective, still to this day. As an ardent CGI hater, this is one of a handful of movies I like to put on, if I have to wash some modern day CGI crap fest out of my brain... and it works every time

[grim_tales]

Tremors was a movie well liked by my brother IIRC but I've never seen it.

[RetroRobot]

You definitely should... it is highly enjoyable.

[Markgway]

I used to like Tremors - it's pretty much a PG-flavoured tribute to 50s monster movies (one f-word aside).

I still use a Discman to play my CDs. Long live physical product!