The off-topic topic

[HungFist]

In love with Spanish beaches, especially Cala Major in Palma de Mallorca.



+ Bonus from the young beautiful woman running on the beach topless would've taken a photo, but my girlfriend would probably have punched my legos out

[Markgway]

Bonus from the young beautiful woman running on the beach topless would've taken a photo, but my girlfriend would probably have punched my legos out

You let us down there, bro.

You put your own personal safety before your comrades' titillation.

No Japanese movies for you for a whole month as punishment!

[saltysam]

...

[Markgway]

+ +
+
<->

[grim_tales]

....
?

[saltysam]

posted then had second thoughts..fuck it at the altar of guilt currently..yes i've repeated the trick

Would you guys consider a man in a long-term relationship sharing a room on a 100% platonic basis with another woman a form of cheating??serious question,i'm interested in your opinions.

[gasteropod]

posted then had second thoughts..fuck it at the altar of guilt currently..yes i've repeated the trick

Would you guys consider a man in a long-term relationship sharing a room on a 100% platonic basis with another woman a form of cheating??serious question,i'm interested in your opinions.

No, with the key word being 'platonic'.

[Markgway]

No, but I could understand your wife being 'uncomfortable' with it.

Even if it's as innocent as you suggest, it may be opening up a can of worms for later.

Sometimes the mere possibility/hint/suggestion can cause just as many problems.

[saltysam]

Wasn't 100% platonic this time round

[chiaomei]

Hey there,
new user incoming. I just wanted to leave a quick "hello" in the forum and I thought that the off-topic topic would be the best place to do this. The forum seems to be quite small (if you're looking at the number of users). Boards which are too big (too many categories and too many users) are not my kind of stuff so well, I don't know why I'm writing this but I thought that this was somehow one of the reasons why I choosed to create an account.

I really like the content of the forum, the comparison between the different releases are stunning, it looks like you really know your stuff. I didn't see that many movies yet, you could say I'm pretty much a movie-virgin but I'm currently getting into HK and Japanese-Cinema. I guess this forum is a good place to talk about these stuff and to learn new things (movies, where to buy them etc.).

Well, I think that's it for now, see you in the forum,
chiaomei

[Shingster]

Welcome to the boards chiaomei. Feel free to start a few threads asking for recommendations or other advice on ASian cinema. About time we had some new blood round here!

[HungFist]

Welcome on my behalf, too. Don't let my strange threads scare you away.

And Sam, I think you're in trouble. Tell us more!

[grim_tales]

Indeed, welcome, chiaomei

[Markgway]

Wasn't 100% platonic this time round

Unfortunately, I think we all saw this coming and tried to warn you...

How bad are we talking?

[gasteropod]

Official Dredd 2 petition: http://2000adonline.us5.list-manage.com ... 62906ebdcc

[saltysam]

How bad are we talking?

on a scale of 1-10...about a 4

[Markgway]

How bad are we talking?

on a scale of 1-10...about a 4

I would say...

1 - general flirting
2 - sexual flirting
3 - simple kiss (on lips)
4 - making out (tongues)
5 - intimate touching (breasts/outer genitals)
6 - digital penetration/handjob
7 - Oral sex (if she does it)
8 - Oral sex (if you do it)
9 - Quick shag
10 - Full lovemaking session

If it's 1 or 2 I wouldn't worry or bother saying anything. Just keep it in check in future.
If it's 3 or 4 you're pushing it, but might get away with the transgression if it's a one-off, and make that clear to your 'friend'.
If it's 5 or 6 you crossed an invisible line and are in trouble. Frankly, you cheated, and it'll be a tough decision whether to tell your wife.
If it's 7 or 8 you're in very big trouble and I really wouldn't want to be you. If you tell your wife, BEG for forgiveness, if your relationship is still worth fighting for.
If it's 9 or 10 you're fucked in a whole other way. I'm talking Divorce Court, mate. That would be my position, but then I'm not your wife, so maybe she's a more reasonable person than I...?

Does that help give a sense of perspective/context?

[saltysam]

4 & 5

[Markgway]

There are several key questions you have to ask yourself:

1. Do I regret what happened?
(Do you feel bad about the incident or do you see it as a positive experience?)
2. Do I want it to happen again (or more)?
(If the opportunity arose and you could 'get away with it' so to speak)
3. Do I want to stay married or consider an alternative?
(Consider the state of your marriage without the other woman as part of the equation and are you happy? Not saying that happily married men don't ever stray, sometimes it's in the man's nature, it's just that usually there's an underlying reason, especially if it's something you normally wouldn't do.)
4. Is there a real future for this second relationship?
(Or is it purely fling material? Sometimes people fall out of love with one person and in with another. It's not something only bastards do. Chemistry (if physical) and emotion (if deeper) affects everyone. The choices you make and the manner of handling the situation is what sets individuals apart.)

My opinion: I would think very carefully about what you want (discussion with 'the other woman' maybe required) and then inform your wife of the decision. Even if you decide to stay together, she has the right to know. You can apologise, but I believe it's her right to forgive you (or not). If you hide the truth then that's what puts you really in the wrong. Mistakes(?) happen, lies are lies. Again, that's just my moral outlook. Feel free to ignore it.

[saltysam]

There are several key questions you have to ask yourself:

without quoting your whole post some good points there...in short what happened was alcohol fuelled.the 2nd night nothing happened at all.Can't deny i have feelings for the girl,i'm pretty sure she has for me.we get on so incredibly well and i love her company. however despite appearances she wouldn't go down that road with a married man and i do love my wife...it's tough...and complicated by the fact i see this girl most days..it's unavoidable. in short if i wasn't married i think we'd be a couple but i am and i intend to stay that way....so i'll have to figure out how to get rid of these thoughts/feelings and just be friends..it's hard though when you get so close to someone...even people in work think there's something going on.

[Markgway]

There are several key questions you have to ask yourself:

without quoting your whole post some good points there...in short what happened was alcohol fuelled.the 2nd night nothing happened at all.Can't deny i have feelings for the girl,i'm pretty sure she has for me.we get on so incredibly well and i love her company. however despite appearances she wouldn't go down that road with a married man and i do love my wife...it's tough...and complicated by the fact i see this girl most days..it's unavoidable. in short if i wasn't married i think we'd be a couple but i am and i intend to stay that way....so i'll have to figure out how to get rid of these thoughts/feelings and just be friends..it's hard though when you get so close to someone...even people in work think there's something going on.

It's an unenviable position, but at least you seem to have an idea of where you want to be, and I hope you can sort it out before any further damage is done. You love your wife and you want to stay married, it may mean you have to work extra hard at a platonic relationship with your colleague. I'm assuming your job means that you have to spend alone time with this woman? It won't be easy - especially if she feels the same - but suppression is the only answer if you want to maintain the status quo. Good luck!

[saltysam]

It's an unenviable position, but at least you seem to have an idea of where you want to be, and I hope you can sort it out before any further damage is done. You love your wife and you want to stay married, it may mean you have to work extra hard at a platonic relationship with your colleague. I'm assuming your job means that you have to spend alone time with this woman? It won't be easy - especially if she feels the same - but suppression is the only answer if you want to maintain the status quo. Good luck!

it'll resolve itself sooner or later...i'm sure she'll meet someone and embark on a relationship..which would probably severely limit our friendship as i doubt most blokes would accept us being so close.

[Markgway]

it'll resolve itself sooner or later...i'm sure she'll meet someone and embark on a relationship..which would probably severely limit our friendship as i doubt most blokes would accept us being so close.

I know I wouldn't....

In the meantime work hard on the platonic thing and remind yourself that a moment of lust isn't worth a lifetime of pain.

[saltysam]

Well that was a strange 36 hours...went to bed 10:30pm wednesday night..woke up with an excruciating stomach pain an hour later..vomiting for hours...eventually after no respite took myself to the hospital at 2:30am..ended up having morphine and put on a drip and having an x-ray..they seem to think it's a severe inflammation of the stomach,gastritis. finally got out of hospital t 09:35 yesterday morning..still feel rough as hell,i'm on 17 tablets a day.Karma for my recent behaviour i think

[saltysam]

had an endoscopy today...wht an unpleasant procedure anyone unlucky enough to have to have one for for sedation...i stupidly didn't.