The funny thread

[Shingster]

Couldn't they have cut the guy out if they acted quick enough?

[HungFist]

The Most Useless Machine Ever
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8DabmWBEKY




edit:

Even more useless invention:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtIx5F3516c

[gasteropod]

This Facebook page has been cracking me up the past few days: http://www.facebook.com/TheSimpsonsArt

[Yi-Long]

How animals treat their children, and how humans treat theirs....
http://izismile.com/2009/08/14/the_diff ... _pics.html

[Markgway]

We all know that humans are the real animals.

[grim_tales]

Funny Ebay listing (now removed):

You are bidding on a collection of 50 (approx) 12" singles and LPs of crap music.


My sister found these in her attic last weekend, where they has been sat gathering dust for the last couple of decades. They used to belong to her ex-husband, who is one of the biggest arseholes ever to draw breath. I never liked the wanker, and based my initial antipathy towards him on his taste in music. Not to put too fine a point on it, he was that most contemptible form of pond life, a Jazz Funker. This meant that as well as shit taste in music, he had appalling taste in clothes too. Pringle jumpers, pleated Farrahs, shoes that looked like pasties, white socks, revolting shirts and a comical wedge-cut hairdon't. Add to this 80s fashion horrorshow a Ford Capri and Super Mario-style moustache underlining his bulbous nose, and you get an object lesson in twatdom. No wonder Northern Soul fans (and everyone else) treated the Jazz Funk fans with sneering comntempt.

I couldn't comprehend what on earth my usually sensible sister could possibly see in the pillock. In vain I pleaded with her to send him packing. My argument that his hankering for Earth Wind & Fire records and attendance at soul weekenders made him a poor choice of mate was waved away as the rantings of a callow youth. She felt my reasoning was unsound.

Reader, she married him.

He made her life miserable for a few years with his moping, moody belligerence (and playing horrendous records like these). He told her lies and generally behaved like a platinum c*nt. Then he dumped her for his mistress when my sister was four months pregnant.

It's now nearly 20 years later and I would still like to take a meat tenderizer to his face. But his most horrendous crime, worse than wiring up my granny's shower so it was electrically live, worse even than his infidelity or the awful way he treated my sister, was the fact that he actually liked the abomination known as Jazz Funk. Here is the evidence. What a bastard.

Well, I suppose I'd better tell you what's for sale, though why you would actually want to own this dreck is beyond me. It's basically music for people who have a deep-seated hatred of music and want to inflict their pain on the world. But here goes nothing.

First the 12" singles....

Whats up with Jazz Funk though?

[HungFist]

Football
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQ9lS4QLg_M

[HungFist]

Man Played Russian Roulette With His Dog And Lost
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/nationa ... ad_po.html

[Markgway]

As long as the dog was OK...

[HungFist]

From AnimEigo website

Top-10 Frequently Asked Questions
...
#2 : What will you do if I email you and point out that the Top-10 list doesn't have 10 items in it?
The same thing we will do if you email us and ask one of the questions on the list. We will roll the AnimEigo Dice of Doom and take the appropriate action:

1 : Dispatch Ninja Death Squad.
2 : Make note in your customer record that you want "UPS Next Month Underground" delivery service (surcharges apply)
3 : Forward your email around the office with sarcastic comments applied.
4 : Ridicule you in an upcoming convention panel (if time permits).
5 : Put your name in a "list of shame" easter egg in an upcoming DVD.
6 : Roll again. Twice.
...
#0 : Wait a minute... #2 says there aren't 10 items in the top 10 list, but there are!

If we removed #2, there wouldn't be 10 items anymore, which means we'd have to add it back again.

[HungFist]

Pro Driving:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBYNbovODbE

oh man, been laughting 5 min non-stop...

[HungFist]

North Korean "Global Happiness Index" ranks China no. 1, USA dead last
- http://shanghaiist.com/2011/05/31/north ... appine.php

[Markgway]

I see nothing at all suspicious about that index. Nothing at all.

[bradavon]

Pro Driving:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBYNbovODbE

Ha ha. Laugh Out Loud (because I refuse to say LOL, oh I just did).

[gasteropod]

Ha ha. Laugh Out Loud (because I refuse to say LOL, oh I just did).

Mate, typing 'Laugh Out Loud' is ten times more obnoxious than 'lol'.

[Markgway]

Ha ha. Laugh Out Loud (because I refuse to say LOL, oh I just did).

Mate, typing 'Laugh Out Loud' is ten times more obnoxious than 'lol'.

Agreed. Lol.

[Markgway]

[Heka]

I don't know if any of you guys are into stand up comedy...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBXL36TO ... age#t=906s

Doug Stanhope. His comedy could be described as fetish comedy, not many people are into it but those who are really like it. This is from the 2004 DVD Deadbeat Hero and the following 20 min from the start of that link are probably my favorite piece of his in terms of entertainment value.

[HungFist]

Somehow I ended up seeing this already before...

and now I almost ended up seeing it again

Dangerous stuff

[HungFist]

Russian attacked by a bear:
http://www.wimp.com/cutestbear/

[Heka]

I fucking hate bears. They make me scared when I'm picking berries in the forest.

[HungFist]

Another good reason to like bears

Related story. A good friend of mine is nicknamed Kuma-sama (Mr. Bear)... no, I don't know why, but that's beside the point. Anyway, he was travelling with his friends somewhere in Kyushu, and they actually came across a living bear. So everyone panicked and were like "ABUNAI!! ABUNAI!! KUMA!!" (watch out, it's a bear) but my friend didn't even see the bear and he was like "what, what?". It was only a few second later that he, too, was running like hell, I've been told

[gasteropod]

Hahaha, a guy has been on a dating site and drawn unflattering pictures of girls on there and sent them to them, the last one is very naughty!

http://forum.breakbeat.co.uk/tm.aspx?m=1972451271

[HungFist]

The last one is awesome

You sometimes see that happening for real in Finland. Around October it's cold, wet, and dark. The trees have just dropped their leaves, but there no snow yet, so everything looks more or less black. So then when you come across some hard boiled Africans it sometimes looks like a set of clothes walking the street

[Heka]

A "funny" story from my high school years. Each year a photographer comes to school for one day to take the class fotos of each class. Since Finns are pretty much the whitest people on the planet earth the lighting and lenses used are made to show our skintone a bit darker. This is all fine and good for the white students but for the african immigrants they are only pitch black spots on the school fotos. You can't see their facial features, only their eyes and smile.