What general film/series have you just seen.. marks out of 5

[Markgway]

THUNDERBOLT AND LIGHTFOOT

Overlong robbery caper movie is pretty blah and not much fun. Clint Eastwood, George Kennedy, and Geoffrey Lewis played their parts well enough, but Jeff Bridges was an annoying tit throughout. And since we're suposed to like him that's a problem. No excitement really so unless you really like the characters there's not much to see.

SLITHER

Incredibly derivitive body snatchers rip-off adds nothing new to the table and is probably the poorest example of this story I've seen. The script was piss poor apart from a few amusing lines; this wasn't as funny or enjoyable as The Faculty which was basically the same film made 7 years before. Admittedly I'm not a big fan of gross-out effects-laden horror (unless it's done really well ala Carpenter's The Thing). Gets an extra half star for a brief nipple shot in the bathtub scene.

[saltysam]

Wrong Turn 3 2/5 Cheap but watchable DTV sequel,hampered by some dire cgi gore.

Final Destination 2 2.5/5 Ok sequel makes the mistake of showing it's headline setpiece within the first ten minutes,it's so well done every ensuing setpiece feels a bit like after the lord mayors show.

[grim_tales]

Sherlock Holmes: 4/5

I actually really enjoyed it - even though I wonder why martial arts/fighting have to be added to everything The action/combat makes it more exciting I guess with some crunchy close up fights and set pieces but how did Holmes know martial arts. He comes across as a Victorian James Bond sort of character - as well as being a brilliant mind and cokehead (the villian Lord Blackwood certainly seems like a Bond villain) and the film tosses in some secret society/conspiracy stuff like something from the Da Vinci Code.

[romerojpg]

It was pure shit Grim. Total wank.

[bradavon]

I don't care if anyone thinks I'm judging it, the film looks shit. A hideous Americanised, flashy, MTV style remake and I didn't even know about the martial arts. Richie only seems to be able to make one type of movie, "an MTV style one".

[saltysam]

District 9 BD 4/5 Second time around watching this one,a cracking watch and one of the year's best.The blu-ray looks sensational,easily one of the best transfers i've seen on the format.

[HungFist]

Revolver (Italy/France, 1973) – 4/5
Having directed Violent City in 1970, Sergio Sollima returned to the Italo crime genre with Revolver and made one of the best crime films of the 70’s. Oliver Reed plays a warden who must release a prisoner in order to save his wife. What seems like a typical crime film plot turns out to be anything but. The screenplay is absolutely brilliant, turning the genre conventions upside down, and still not revealing all its cards, not even after the film has ended. There isn’t much action, but the characters are great, and the tension is comparable to the best spaghetti westerns. Morricone’s score leaves no room for complaints, and Reed is terrific in the lead role (and apparently drunk half of the time).

[grim_tales]

From what I heard Brad, the Holmes in the film is closer to the books than you would think - martial arts/fighting etc is mentioned in the books. I liked how RDJ/Jude Law played together - Watson was played svery straight.

[bradavon]

I imagine there are elements of truth to that (I heard it too) but I bet Richie took lots of artistic license too.

[grim_tales]

Yeah, I'm sure he did. I havent read the books though

[HungFist]

Screw Holmes. You cold spend your time much better by watching interesting movies like Revolver (Sollima, not fucking Ritchie). This film really deserves more attention.

[romerojpg]

There are no martial arts in the new Sherlock Holmes, no idea what film you watched Grim. It is called fighting.

[grim_tales]

The choreography/some of the fights seemed martial arts like IMO. There was some boxing/fighting as well.

[romerojpg]

Punching and kicking and a chop to the thoat aint Martial Arts in by book.

[grim_tales]

OK not "real" martial arts, hand to hand combat then.

[bradavon]

Whatever you want to call it, it's semantics and shouldn't be in such a film.

[Yi-Long]

Ow, everyone knows Holmes is a master of the art of Bartitsu, the gayest and douchiest looking martial art in the world(!)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bartitsu

[Markgway]

EUREKA 0.5/5

Embarrassingly awful arthouse drama from Nic Roeg. I only give the .5 for Theresa Russell's willingness to get frontally naked (if you look sharp you can see her vagina in one bedroom scene).

THE MARINE 2/5

Awesomely silly, but never dull action fodder. The wrestler hero dude is wooden, but I enjoyed Robert Patrick's tongue-in-cheek performance as the villain. LOTS of explosions. I think I saw the PG-13 version as a lot of the violence looked curtailed.

[oldeschool17]

THE MARINE 2/5

Awesomely silly, but never dull action fodder. The wrestler hero dude is wooden, but I enjoyed Robert Patrick's tongue-in-cheek performance as the villain. LOTS of explosions. I think I saw the PG-13 version as a lot of the violence looked curtailed.

That's funny you mention this movie as it was on TV today. I caught 20 mins of it and thought it was dumb as hell. Case in point, when the black guy is yelling at Robert Patrick for killing 2 cops, I like how his peers was like, "umm, you killed them"(maybe not verbatim, but the gist). Only redeeming factor was Kimberly Carlson(i think thats her name)

[brooce-leroy]

The Marine is awful unless you like John Cena. Some parts are ok, but i fell asleep before it ended. Bobby Patrick is class though. I didn't like the gratuitious use of wrestling moves incorparated into the action.

If you're after some beefcake Cena action I recommend the slightly more superior 12 Rounds, which at least has a better quality director.

[grim_tales]

Hey Bruce
Happy New Year

[EvaUnit02]

Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem - 2/5 - Utterly rubbish film, but fairly entertaining nonetheless for when you want to switch off the brain and relax with some beers. It never takes itself seriously nor pretends to be anything more than the B-grade schlock that it is. Better than Alien Resurrection by a mile, TBH. It's basically a typical Slasher but with scifi monsters.

The biggest disappointment is the cinematography and editing. The lighting during the action scenes is quite dim at times. The aforementioned and the quick cuts make it a bit hard to follow what's going at times.

I didn't like at all how they changed the alien lifecycle. There was absolutely no need for a Queen nor eggs, the Predalien would gestate several Chestbursters within pregnant women. (WTF, TBH)

I Am Legend - 2.5/5
It was always going to be another formulaic genre flick, being as utterly predictable as it was but that third act utterly sunk it. Utterly rubbish last 1/3rd. BRAZILIAN NURSE WITH MAGIC UV HEADLIGHTS SAVES YOU IN THE NICK OF TIME. *groan* Christ on a bike, let's not even go into the Shrek shit and the Bob Marley scene.

Oh God, the creature CGI was utterly shit. The vampire/rage zombie men and dogs, the deers, the lion, etc. They must've blown their budget on the environmental CGI used to transform New York City into a decrepit state - that stuff looked pretty good, IMO.

It should've been at least 30mins longer and had more of the isolated Will Smith going about his daily routine and not introduced the other survivors full stop.

I hear that there's an alternative cut, but I can't arsed tracking it down. Maybe if the film had been made by someone with known talent rather than the helmer of Constantine (lol), eg Kingdom of Heaven. More often than not even failures by good filmmakers make for far more interesting viewing than the usual stuff out of Hollywood.

[Yi-Long]

Speaking of I Am Legend? As everyone already mentioned that the ending sucked and it could have used a 30 extra minutes, there was talk at the time of a director's cut possibly coming out one day.

I guess that's not happening?

I haven't seen the movie yet, and probably never will, mostly because of all the negative talk about that ending.

[Markgway]

That's funny you mention this movie as it was on TV today. I caught 20 mins of it and thought it was dumb as hell. Case in point, when the black guy is yelling at Robert Patrick for killing 2 cops, I like how his peers was like, "umm, you killed them"(maybe not verbatim, but the gist).

Yes, it was incredibly stupid. Did anyone else think Anthony Ray Parker's anecdote about being molested by a camp councillor was a bit 'off' for this movie?

Only redeeming factor was Kimberly Carlson(i think thats her name)

I thought the other girl (Aussie actress Abigail Bianca) was hotter.

Bobby Patrick is class though.

He is. I don't think I could've sat thru it without his performance.

[oldeschool17]

The Marine is awful unless you like John Cena. Some parts are ok, but i fell asleep before it ended. Bobby Patrick is class though. I didn't like the gratuitious use of wrestling moves incorparated into the action.

If you're after some beefcake Cena action I recommend the slightly more superior 12 Rounds, which at least has a better quality director.

Certainly, these are the operative words to describe this trainwreck. It was a failed attempt by WWE to cash in on movies by using one of their characters who is known for his thug wannabe persona as a credible movie actor. Fail.