What Have You Just Seen... Marks Out of 5

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 01 Jan 2008, 21:28

Any film with an exploding penis and flying sex has to be seen once.

thelostdragon · Post by **thelostdragon** » 01 Jan 2008, 22:03

The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada - 3.5/5
Tommy Lee Jones did good work directing and starring in this modern day Western drama.

tom2681 · Post by **tom2681** » 01 Jan 2008, 22:54

No Mercy for the Rude (2006 - Korea - with Shin Ha-Gyun): 2,25 / 5

Ouch.
I appreciate what the director tried to do, but he hasn't managed to pull it off IMO. It's a shame, because I really wanted to like this.

There are many good ideas in here: Shin Ha-Gyun is very good at playing a mute killer, his weird relationship with the girl is interesting, the dancer/killer was a nice touch too.
But everything is too "raw" in this film. The violence, the sex, the drama, the humour, all of it.

Didn't find it even remotely enjoyable, despite all its qualities.

(Sorry LD, I know how much you love this one)

thelostdragon · Post by **thelostdragon** » 01 Jan 2008, 23:34

tom2681 wrote:No Mercy for the Rude (2006 - Korea - with Shin Ha-Gyun): 2,25 / 5
(Sorry LD, I know how much you love this one)

You shouldn't be sorry for disliking this film, but for liking some other certain "masterpieces"... ahem... The Twins Effect II... ahem... 8)

BiscLimpkit · Post by **BiscLimpkit** » 01 Jan 2008, 23:56

We Own the Night 3.75/5

As the title suggests, this film is all about getting owned.

Shingster · Post by **Shingster** » 02 Jan 2008, 12:44

HungFist wrote:no, no, no. What I like most about Shinkai's films, even more than the visuals, is the themes.

If Shinkai had only ever made one film, i'd agree, but he's recycled those damn themes across 3 films now and he ain't done anything different with them in each one. He's just flogging a dead horse now and very much in danger of become a director of great style but no substance.

bradavon · Post by **bradavon** » 02 Jan 2008, 18:11

@ Bisc

HungFist · Post by **HungFist** » 03 Jan 2008, 18:13

Eros (USA, Italy, Hong Kong etc., 2004) – 1,5/5
Wong, Sodenbergh, Antonioni. Divide by three. The Hand is Wong Kar Wai at his dryest and fakest. Gong Li has been given an uninteresting role as a high class prostitute, and Chang Chen does his best in the 'Tony Leung role'. Only the ending is good. Sodenbergs follow up isn’t much better, mainly a long joke. Robert Downey Jr. does his usual stuff, but in this context it’s hardly a bad thing. The film concludes with Antonioni’s gorgeously photographed soft porn wich challenges the arthouse audiences to keep their cool while listening to some of the most laughable dialogue in recent memory.

grim_tales · Post by **grim_tales** » 03 Jan 2008, 20:40

The Life & Times of The Thunderbolt Kid - 4/5

OK, not a film but a book/audiotape - Bill Bryson's warm, funny and nostalgic account of growing up in America in the 1950's. I enjoyed it, its not laugh out loud funny like some of his travel books, but still has a warm humour and its interesting.
At the start of the book, it was hard to get used to Bill's voice as I can still hear Kerry Shayle's voice reading his work.

bradavon · Post by **bradavon** » 03 Jan 2008, 20:42

@ Hung:

I heard the WKW section was decent but the other two are awful. Did you watch the Italian one in English or Italian? I hear English is the correct language but much of it is dubbed.

Knetan · Post by **Knetan** » 03 Jan 2008, 21:20

hey,

Shaolin Kung-Fu Mystagogue 3.5/5

Standard kung-fu stuff but a hell of a lot of fun when dealing in gadgets. Here low-budget creativity is terrific fun, especially Chang Yi's weapon of choice, The Bloody Bird. Watch weapons such as that act as boomerangs, cut down trees, retract and two sequences in rooms of traps are highlights too. The German dvd from NEW comes highly recommended.

HungFist · Post by **HungFist** » 03 Jan 2008, 21:50

@ Brad, in English. No ITA option on my (won't be mine for long) Mei Ah disc.

thelostdragon · Post by **thelostdragon** » 03 Jan 2008, 22:30

Zodiac - 3/5

bradavon · Post by **bradavon** » 03 Jan 2008, 23:35

HungFist wrote:@ Brad, in English. No ITA option on my (won't be mine for long) Mei Ah disc.

That's the one I have too.

I think it's dubbed into Italian on the R1, or was it the UK R2. Maybe both, I forget.

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 04 Jan 2008, 00:04

Knetan wrote:hey,

Shaolin Kung-Fu Mystagogue 3.5/5

Standard kung-fu stuff but a hell of a lot of fun when dealing in gadgets. Here low-budget creativity is terrific fun, especially Chang Yi's weapon of choice, The Bloody Bird. Watch weapons such as that act as boomerangs, cuts down retract and two sequences in rooms of traps are highlights too. The German dvd from NEW comes highly recommended.

I saw a trailer for that and thought it looked like fun.

DangerousLeeHandsome · Post by **DangerousLeeHandsome** » 04 Jan 2008, 00:43

War (aka Rogue Assassin) - 2/5
Not the worst movie I've ever seen but definitely a career low for Jet Li. He looked like he didn't even want to be in this movie. Nobody looked like they wanted to be in this movie. I give a very generous 2 stars only because it was better than his absolute worst film, a little stinker called Cradle 2 The Grave.

AVP: Alien vs. Predator "Unrated" - 2.5/5
The second one was so bad that I decided to give the original another try on DVD. I hadn't seen the movie since watching it in theatres so I have no clue what the "unrated" footage was but I conclude that this piece of crap is a quality piece of crap unlike the sequel which was dead in the water from beginning to end.

The Kung Fu Cult Master (aka The Evil Cult) - 3/5
Not a masterpiece but I had a damn good time watching this. Hadn't seen it in about 10 years.

HungFist · Post by **HungFist** » 04 Jan 2008, 20:04

Millionaire’s Express (Hong Kong, 1986) – 3,5/5
Sammo Hung’s Hong Kong western is an entertaining action comedy with little sense, but several funny scenes. The last 20 minutes offers one of the best action orgies on Hung’s career. The cast is unbelievable: Sammo Hung, Yuen Biao, Kenny Bee, Yasuaki Kurata, Eric Tsang, Phillip Ko, Richard Norton, Dick Wei, Rosamund Kwan, Emily Chu and the world’s best comedian Richard Ng, just to mention a few. Special mentions to the female kicking machines Yukari Oshima and Cynthia Rothrock, whom I actually managed to like this time.

Companeros (Italy / Spain, 1970) – 4/5
Corbucci’s excellent spaghetti western suffers from slight overlength, but is still catchy enough to thoroughly entertain even a non-genre fan. Franco Nero and Tomas Milian create a great combo and Morricone’s soundtrack kicks ass. The big showdown near the end is amazing, although the very ending goes on a bit too long. It doesn’t hurt the movie much, though.

thelostdragon · Post by **thelostdragon** » 05 Jan 2008, 00:18

The Sopranos - Season 1 - 4/5
Awesome and I know it is going to be even better in the next seasons.

thelostdragon · Post by **thelostdragon** » 05 Jan 2008, 04:35

Layer Cake - 4.5/5
Bloody awesome!

grim_tales · Post by **grim_tales** » 05 Jan 2008, 18:18

Shrek The Third: 3/5 (maybe 2.75/5)

Hmm. Disappointing as I thought the 1st 2 Shrek movies were brilliant. It's not nearly as funny as the 1st 2 throughout. Even Shrek the Halls (on TV over Christmas) was better than this. A lengthy sequence at a highschool rolls out all the clichés and is uninspired and dull. The moral (about believing in yourself) is also naff.
There were a few very funny parts though, just a shame theyre few and far between. Puss in Boots is great, and there's a hilarious Shrek "dream" sequence involving a pregnant Fiona/Shrek babies, and also a great bit where Donkey and Puss switch bodies. Rupert Everett camps it up, with a great song about his "soft and bouncy hair"

Didnt like it enough. Will not buy DVD. Happy with Shrek 1 (R1) and 2 (R3).

BiscLimpkit · Post by **BiscLimpkit** » 05 Jan 2008, 18:30

Enchanted 4/5

Disney taking the mic out of themselves. Quite amusing I thought. Love the random songs lol.

saltysam · Post by **saltysam** » 05 Jan 2008, 20:09

sounds to me like you enjoyed it Grim but are trying to convince yourself otherwise.buy it when it's £2.50 with vouchers on cd-wow

saltysam · Post by **saltysam** » 05 Jan 2008, 20:11

Shoot Em' Up (blu-ray) 3.5/5

Enjoyed this for what it is, a virtually no plot action packed macho fest. never lets up for a minute, Monica get's em out (no nipple shot though) and even Clive Owen is pretty good. stunning blu-ray transfer.

bradavon · Post by **bradavon** » 05 Jan 2008, 20:23

Monica Bellucci is the worlds hottest milf! She's way hotter than many women half her age.

grim_tales · Post by **grim_tales** » 05 Jan 2008, 21:17

saltysam wrote:sounds to me like you enjoyed it Grim but are trying to convince yourself otherwise.buy it when it's £2.50 with vouchers on cd-wow

I did enjoy it, but not as much as the others (its near 3/5), I think its worth £2.50.

Compared to 1 and 2 it disappoints a lot but I still liked it I guess.