What asian film/series have you just seen.. marks out of 5

[chazgower01]

33D Invader aka The Fruit is Ripe 33D! (2011, Hong Kong) Haiuken 3/5
I decided to have a look at how well the 'Chinese sex comedy' has improved since the 90's and chose this little masterpiece on the Haiuken site. From what I've read it's a sequel in NAME only to the Loletta Lee 'The Fruit is Ripe' movie.
In the year 2046, 99% of men have been rendered sterile by aliens called 'xuckers'. So the humans send a girl named 'future' into the past (2011) to have sex with men and bring back their essence. The aliens are chasing her though, and 'Once she is raped by us, humans on earth will be extinct'. Ok.
In 2011, we meet four hot roommate girls in college - Jeana, who wants to be a lawyer fighting for women's rights (LOL, you chose the wrong movie!), Cici the slutty one with the biggest breasts (in red), Jane the quick-witted one (in yellow), and Mia, the petite virgin (far right). Everyone on the beach is oogling them, including four guys who live in the apartment next to them.


Of course, it's all just an excuse to have sex, but then again, so is life!
Akiho Yoshizawa (Jeana) is the 'star' here, she came from a porn background, you can see her stuff online if you google her name, but both first and only time film actresses' Chen Chih-Ying (Cici, the slutty one with big breasts, apparently a Tawaiin model) and the really cute Lee Ko-Chu (Mia the petite virgin, no other info) provide some superior full frontal naked sexcapades that are more than worthy.
NSFW - Lee Ko-Chu
https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-AzeK72c7c7Q/ ... %2B002.png

In fact, other than Jane (Monna Lam Yi-Chi), every female in this gets naked, including the female 'terminator', and 'Future' from the future.
It's not a masterpiece, of course, and there were times I was thinking, "Why can't they make porn like this?", but it's a lot of fun and better than 95% of Wong Jing's silly overused, and under exposed ideas.

[chazgower01]

Naked Ambition 2 (2014, Hong Kong/Japan) Haiuken 2/5
Well... I noticed that Akiho Yoshizawa had one other mainstream movie to her credit, and it was ABOUT the Japanese porn industry - a sort of take-up on it or whatever and...
To me, the one funny thing about this movie, and it did HK $16million, so obviously Chinese audiences thought it was funny, but to me the ONE thing about this movie that made me chuckle was that the director ends up being an unwilling participant in his own movies, and because the women have to practically MAKE him have sex, as he bumbles and snivels, that domination forced upon him, makes him an overnight sensation. LOL.
Other than that, I apparently can't tell the difference between Akiho Yoshizawa and Yui Tatsumi - one of them appeared in the first 'porn' scene.
I matched up the onscreen Japanese spelling of the names for Nozomi Aso and L-cup actress Anri Okita, and managed to figure out who Tsukasa Aoi was, but honestly, if you watch this movie for the sex, it's a disappointment. I mean... why be coy with the porn stars? 3D Intruder was much better.
And the story's isn't all that great either. I can't wait for the day SOMEONE makes an honest, dark comedy about either the U.S. or Japanese porn industry. There's a story there that's humorous, ugly, real, and insightful, but odds are we'll never see it.
Oh, and Wong Jing and Sandra Ng have cameos in it.
Harmless fun, but I was underwhelmed.

[chazgower01]

Spike Drink Gang (1995, Hong Kong) yoututbe 2.5/5
Some bad guys are spiking drinks at a local convenience store and then following the girls to mug and rob them, and in some cases sexually assault or rape them.
You'd think that'd be a serious topic for a decent crime thriller, but there are far too many attempts at comedy to do anything other than laugh or groan at it. Which isn't all that bad.
Yvonne Yung Hung is her usual victim, and Evlis Tsui is actually pretty hilarious as her crazy husband, furious of the embarrassment of her rape.
Watchable, but not great. Entertaining a lot of times, but stupid. I didn't dislike it, but I still am not exactly recommending it.

[chazgower01]

Shaolin Soccer (2001, Hong Kong) Haiuken 3.5/5
I love soccer (football), I love Kung Fu and I think Stephen Chow is funny, so this movie will always have a soft spot in my heart, despite its flaws and very dated CGI. Still, three days before the World Cup and I was in the mood to see it.
A Warner Brothers cartoon come to life, it's like the Bad News Bears on crack, but for all of the flaws that it has, they're overcome by a tried and true story: the underdog with a heart of gold vs the evil nemesis.
Hard to believe it's 17 years old.

[HungFist]

That's an impressive review treak you've got going on there. Keep em coming!

Scorpion: Double Venom 2 (サソリ 殺す天使) (Japan, 1998) - 1.5/5
This is a continuation of the story that begun in the previous film, with Nami still played by Chiharu Komatsu. Both films were released theatrically on the same day. It's a marginally better film than the first, for reasons I cannot recall anymore two weeks after the viewing (which probably says something about the movie). It might have had something to do with the general ridiculousness of the picture, especially the ending which is so dumb it's almost genius.

Daredevil Drivers (マッハ'78) (Japan, 1978) [Hulu] - 2.5/5
A minor carsploitation classic with nonexistent artistic achievements partly out-weighted by some of the most insane car stunts ever committed to film. The storyline is about Japanese and American stuntmen competing each other in a tournament in USA where they perform death defying car and crash stunts. What's interesting is that while the story is fictional, the film essentially plays out as a documentary since the stunts are real, often shot in a single take, even showing the real medical personnel pulling the poor driver out of the wreck. Nearly all cast members are stuntmen and it's difficult to believe many of the outcomes could've been scripted. Some of the stunts are impossible to witness without going all "holy shit!" Cinematically the film is amateurish with a ridiculously thin romantic side story (with "Hollywood Star" Linda Stayer who appeared in a total of two films!) and dull sequences documenting a real car museum and race event. Nevertheless, with achievements like "word record car jump" (158 metres) and "359 demolished vehicles" the film found relatively wide international distribution in the early 80, mainly on video, and still manages to astonish in places.



Trailer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FI8Qb6z0B9I

[chazgower01]

Sasori in U.S.A. (Scorpion's Revenge) (Japan, 1997) - 2/5
Another restart film, this time a theatrical release although I suspect this was produced for the video market and only given minimal theatrical run. In any case, it's a bit better than you'd expect, a passable b-film with some nudity, one explosion (yes, this actually has production values, minor they may be), a bit of action, and shot in USA. There are quite a few American actors as well, giving typical b-film performances that some people might describe as "bad". Nami (uncharismatic but passable TV star Yoko Saito, daring to show her boobs here) is this time a woman living in the US, falsely accused of murdering her husband and sent behind the bars. If you don't think of it as a Female Prisoner Scorpion film but rather a normal WiP flick it's quite watchable, and would be up another half star if the ending wasn't such a letdown with some very underwhelming action and car chase. The director is Daisuke Goto, better known for some watchable pink films (A Lonely Cow Weeps at Dawn, Blind Love).

I'm almost positive I never saw this, despite the Asian Cinema magazine's I was reading at the time promoting the hell out of it. Always thought the cover looked good.

[chazgower01]

Daredevil Drivers (マッハ'78) (Japan, 1978) [Hulu] - 2.5/5
A minor carsploitation classic with nonexistent artistic achievements partly out-weighted by some of the most insane car stunts ever committed to film. The storyline is about Japanese and American stuntmen competing each other in a tournament in USA where they perform death defying car and crash stunts. What's interesting is that while the story is fictional, the film essentially plays out as a documentary since the stunts are real, often shot in a single take, even showing the real medical personnel pulling the poor driver out of the wreck. Nearly all cast members are stuntmen and it's difficult to believe many of the outcomes could've been scripted. Some of the stunts are impossible to witness without going all "holy shit!" Cinematically the film is amateurish with a ridiculously thin romantic side story (with "Hollywood Star" Linda Stayer who appeared in a total of two films!) and dull sequences documenting a real car museum and race event. Nevertheless, with achievements like "word record car jump" (158 metres) and "359 demolished vehicles" the film found relatively wide international distribution in the early 80, mainly on video, and still manages to astonish in places.



Trailer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FI8Qb6z0B9I

Wow!

[chazgower01]

Spike Drink Gang (1995, Hong Kong) yoututbe 2.5/5
Some bad guys are spiking drinks at a local convenience store and then following the girls to mug and rob them, and in some cases sexually assault or rape them.
You'd think that'd be a serious topic for a decent crime thriller, but there are far too many attempts at comedy to do anything other than laugh or groan at it. Which isn't all that bad.
Yvonne Yung Hung is her usual victim, and Evlis Tsui is actually pretty hilarious as her crazy husband, furious of the embarrassment of her rape.
Watchable, but not great. Entertaining a lot of times, but stupid. I didn't dislike it, but I still am not exactly recommending it.

Forgot to mention another of the few good things about this movie is the sexy 錢軍 Chin Gwan from Sex and the Emperor - she was the one with the hot body that the Emperor's eunuch was seeing in secret. She has a sex scene (drugged sex scene, i.e. rape), with a quick glimpse of full frontal. For those who are, ya know, interested in those things.)

https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ccR3u2qWR3k/ ... 5%2BPM.png

[chazgower01]

Undercover Girls (1999, Hong Kong) internet 1/5
There's a scene in this movie where the two bumbling good guys, get into the hotel where Yvonne Yung Hung's character is being held captive by two triad members, key into the room posing as 'cleaning the room', throw the blankets over their them (they're laying on the bed), and proceed to beat on them until they're unable to get up and follow. Yung Hung even throws in a few punches of her own and they look about as week as the two bumbling heroes.
It's that stupid of a movie.
Throw in three overly long love scenes that have absolutely nothing to do with the story and you have another bland, Yvonne Yung Hung Cat III movie. She's fully dressed throughout.
She's the daughter of a rich businessman who gets in trouble with the triads, and the bumbling idiots have to save her. Lots of scenes of them being goofy. Yawn.

[chazgower01]

Women's Prison (1988, Hong Kong) internet 2.5/5
Simon Yam's wife (Pat Ha) is greeted on her wedding day by triad members who want payment for HIS debts. He gives them her wedding jewelry and when her mom admonishes the gang they smack her down. Carol uses a small heavy statue to bang one of them on the head twice, killing him. Off to jail she goes!
By coincidence probably, there is a poster in the prison processing room that says: Triad Involvement Ends in Jail!
Using the exact same facility they'd film Jailhouse Eros less than a year later, this isn't a movie like THAT. It's NOT an exploitation film, but rather a decent hard-hitting drama. No ripped smocks, no wide angle shower scenes... this was done as a drama, and in that respect, it does succeed.
They are of course, thorough with their contraband searches, just not the camera angles.

Ha Chi-Chun ('Rough Prison Guard' in Jailhouse Eros) is also here as 'Coach Ko', a sadistic staff administrator who's ruthlessness would eventually spark the shocking, violent, drama built finale riot.
Simon Yam's part is small, and he looks very young here, even though he was 32-33 at the time. 'Bullet in the Head' would only be two years later.
Anyway, the redemptive ending is... even more shocking in its silliness (they get a new coach, and everyone is nice to each other), but it did HK $11 Million at the box office, so what do I know?
Not bad, if you can find a decent copy, but really more of a 'if it was on TV, I might watch it' kind of movie.

[chazgower01]

Erotic Hero Tale aka Shoot Chicken Heroes (1994, Hong Kong) internet 2/5
Yvonne Yung Hung appears for 30 seconds near the beginning of this as a police captain or something and after that it follows the adventures of two cops who are more interested in having sex with women than doing their job. Well, duh.
And boy do they have sex. The chubberier one has two different ladies he hooks up with, plus one he rapes (she never seems to enjoy it, but she does become more submissive during it. ugh). The other, younger one has a lady AND his girlfriend and they all three get together and then have fairly raw threesome sex a bunch of times through the rest of the movie.
In fact, they have so much sex in this movie, I'm pretty sure that half the screen time is sex and the other half is whatever else. Maybe. It might skew more toward the sex. I'm not entirely joking.
The 'girlfriend' has a hot body and is full nude through most of the movie.
NSFW
https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NzykyeFD1ZM/ ... 6%2BPM.png

Of course, WHO they are is another thing. Someone is listed as 'Irene' and someone as 'Annie'. I'm pretty sure the hot girlfriend is actually having sex in one scene. I'm pretty sure 林于飛 Lam Yue-Fei is one of the two girls in the threesome (not the one in the pic), but she's not a name really... was in Trilogy of Lust that I haven't seen in well over a decade...

At the end, the two cops are on their way back to work and they look like they're dying from having so much sex.
Ya know, it's a terrible movie. I have no idea what it really is supposed to be about. Yvonne Yung Hung disappears after that one scene. Nobody seems to do anything other than have sex. But man, that was some pretty hot stuff, even for a Category III movie.

[chazgower01]

Trilogy of Lust (1995, Hong Kong) internet/youtube 3/5
Believed to be released for the German market, this Cat III movie is actually X rated!
Julie Lee is married to a goofy fisherman, who does all kinds of weird stuff to her. She's normally the go-to girl for full frontal nudity in HK movies, but here she goes above and beyond.
First he performs some type of gyno exam on her and we see him insert a medical q-tip inside of her up close (though it most likely is a body double). Or so we think.
The next day he shoves a bloody fish in her face and then puts it down her panties. When she rips the panties off he takes that as an invitation to have sex with her. We see actual penetration, though once again, most likely a body double.
BUT, then he brings home a prostitute to show her how to properly have sex, by doing the pro in front of her! (Lam Yue-Fei from Erotic Hero Tale) We straight SEE he is having sex with her. No WAY this was regularly released in Hong Kong. And Julie Lee was actually one of the scriptwriters on the movie!
So, somewhat unhappy with her station in life she falls in love with a younger man and they begin a torrid love affair, where we SEE Julie is actually having sex and even giving a blowjob a few times - it's like each scene further confirms, yep she IS having sex.
Eventually, they get caught in the affair and what happens is what makes it all kind of cool. Not a great movie, but one that blurs the line between exploitation, porn and just the art of telling a story. The Japanese are celebrated with 'In the Realm of the Senses', this is Hong Kong's attempt to blur that line. It's NOT art necessarily and isn't as well put together as it could be - but it still deserves a little more recognition for what it was than it gets.

[chazgower01]

My Virgin (1993, Hong Kong) internet 1/5
When watching Erotic Hero Tale, there's a short 30-second scene where Yvonne Yung Hung shows up as a Law Enforcement person near the beginning of the film and then we don't see her again and the film turns into an excuse to do long extended sex scenes. Here's the pic:


In My Virgin, there's a slightly longer scene at the beginning where she comes into what looks like the same place, as a Law Enforcement person before she disappears and the movie turns into an excuse to show extended sex scenes. 1 year earlier!


So the trick is, put Yvonne in a movie for 30 seconds and everyone will think it's HER getting naked. That's worse than a Yip Tease!
And what's with those 'mom jeans?'

In this, she's investigating shenanigans in a karaoke place, the kind with private rooms, and one young couple, who we see getting busy, make a run for it and accidentally drop a flower pot on some hooligans who try to extort them for money. The first person they call is too busy to answer the phone because he's having sex, which leads to a 12 MINUTE sex scene.

It's that kind of movie. The head bad guy is a white dude who rapes one of the girls (she never enjoys it!), and in general, submits everyone to some perverted goings on before meeting his not very well CGI demise. Some of the sex is ok or whatever, but in general, it's all a waste of time.



This post has been updated with correct info!

[chazgower01]

Heart to Hearts (1988, Hong Kong) Haiuken 3/5
A romantic comedy from the late 80's that featured one of Amy Yip's early brief appearances ('Girl at Alex's Party'). I found a sub copy of it online, and since I'd never seen it in this form, I decided to rewatch it.
Alex (George Lam) wakes up one day to his girlfriend moving out (the demure, pretty Rosamund Kwan). Bummed out, he gets really grumpy with his music class, and in particular, the troublesome Vivian (the cute Vivian Chow in her first movie), much to the annoyance of her mother (the obnoxious Carol Cheng), who suspects he has eyes for her daughter.
Eventually, Alex and the MOM begin a relationship, and Rosamund sees this and wants to come back to him. All predictable stuff, though if you like the actors involved you'll appreciate the movie. It grew on me, it's well written, and I kinda liked it.
It was pretty popular in China, pulling in HK $24 Million, making it one of the top movies of the year, and spawned two sequels. Includes the customary amount of politically incorrect gay jokes for the HK time period. And George Lam mustache jokes.
Amy in her second movie for all of about 60 seconds:

[chazgower01]

Tale of Two Cities aka Scheme With Me (2012, People's Republic of China) Haiuken 3.5/5
Lin Xiaodong (Steve Yoo) owns a huge casino and he'll kill anyone who cheats him in 1920's China. He uses Eight Face Ghost (a master of disguise thief) and his rival Still Stone Buddha (a master thief) to pull a job for him, involving Japanese Gold and Commander Wang (Jiu Kong). They enlist the aid of a street thief named Dumpling (the super cute Xiong Nai-Jin). It's a fun little heist movie, with a great cast, fast paced story, and a really beautiful shot film. Looks like it could've been made in Hollywood.
Yvonne Yung Hung (who looks strikingly attractive as she has aged) has a small part as a sort of wild gang leader and the beautiful Josephine Yu plays a singing showgirl. Enjoyed it.

[chazgower01]

Guns of Dragon (1993, Hong Kong) internet 2.5/5
Sometimes you forget how much fun it is to watch those cop movies from the late 80's and 90's, where the cop retires, but the bad guys chase him down, kidnap his family, shit gets blown up, the police inspector yells a lot, there's all kinds of politically incorrect stuff said and done, and the machismo just drips off the screen.
Ray Lui (To Be #1) plays the cop, Yvonne Yung Hung the wife, and Mark Cheng (Raped By an Angel) the bad guy. And how many Hong Kong movies do you see in New York and Puerto Rico? Yeah it's all been done before and done since, but if you just shut off your mind and just watch, it's a lot of what you sometimes want in a movie. The good guys are good, the bad guys are bad, and the bullets fly. It's not John Yoo or Chow Yun Fat, but it's still a bit of macho fun.
And that ending stunt? C'mon, that's some cool stuff!

[Markgway]

The Hong Kong release of Trilogy of Lust was cut to remove all the hardcore footage.

Only the German release is uncut.

[chazgower01]

The Hong Kong release of Trilogy of Lust was cut to remove all the hardcore footage.

Only the German release is uncut.

That makes sense.

[chazgower01]

Hong Kong Criminal Archives - Female Butcher (1991, Hong Kong TV) youtube 2.5/5
Simon Yam plays a psychologically disturbed taxi driver who kills and dismember women, in this Chinese TV movie. No subs, but not too difficult to follow. His female prison psychologist discovers his childhood traumas that led to his behavior. A younger Yvonne Yung Hung, plays a drinking, smoking, loud-mouthed, karaoke girl who becomes his first victim. It's weird to see her effectively play this part.
It's television, so nothing too violent or sexy, but it was probably a good warm-up for Yam before Dr. Lamb.

[chazgower01]

Hong Kong Criminal Archives - Husband in Cook (1991-2, Hong Kong) youtube 2/5
Undubbed, unsubbed copy, so it's hard to completely review it, but a fairly tame flashback story with Yvonne Yung Hung this time playing the killer. Once again, its interesting to see her in these TV shows playing against what would soon be her 'type', especially in her 'institutionalized' scenes, and her 'killing'. If you're a fan of hers, you'll want to see it, I guess, if not, there are plenty of other movies to watch.

[chazgower01]

Rapist Factories (1995, Hong Kong) internet 1/5
Manny Ho Ming who worked as a cinematographer on Hong Kong movies from the early 70's through the mid 90's (including the first Aces Go Places and Veronica Yip's Pretty Woman) makes his first and only directorial entry with 色魔工廠 Se Mo Gung Zhong, Google translated to 'Rapist Factories.'

The two female leads start off with a friendly shared shower, lathering and rinsing each other before running off to their office job. One of the dudes in the office fantasizes about banging the cuter of the two, Lo Wei-Lee (I think), leading to a very softcore sex scene (though with plenty of her full frontal nudity - she's now spent a good 14 minutes of the first 20 completely naked).

The janitor has different plans, as he stalks the other (Lai Mei-Yan), and rapes her in the stairway (she doesn't enjoy it - that's two in a row!). She cries and expresses her anguish to her roommate, who then feels it time to take a solo shower, featuring some close-up shower head massaging on her crotch.

At work, they confide in another female worker, (sort of) actual HK actress Cindy Yip (Raped by an Angel) who, along with a fourth friend, talks them into jumping the rapist and smacking him around.

Cindy Yip then gives us a solo masturbation scene that goes on for 6 minutes and then they REALLY get their revenge on the rapist, before the director gives us short clips of all the sex scenes to help fill out the 43 minute run time.

Lo Wei-Lee's pubic area is attractive, but there's not much else here.


NSFW:
https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-O4PxquNl5yA/ ... 9%2BAM.png

[chazgower01]

Freaky Story (2002, Hong Kong) internet 2/5
A major bomb at the box office (hkmdb.com says it only did $14,000!), its the story of three stewardess friends (Yvonne Yung Hung, Iris Chai, and Bessie Chan) who vacation in the Philippines and meet up with a psycho killer. The 'twist' ending isn't all that surprising since about half way through the character that gets killed makes an offensive joke just before they meet their end, that tipped me off. She says "I always hate lesbian, you can't tell she is a he or she. They screw up the world, even bring aids here."
Sexy Valerie Chow (Chungking Express, High Risk) plays the hotel manager and long time pop star turned actor Kenny Bee plays the psychologically disturbed Jacky.
Not sure why it flopped so bad, it looks like any other lame Hong Kong thriller, and the poster art actually looks decent. Unless word of mouth got around before it was released that its fairly tame. It was during Yung Hung's dry spell, as the HK film industry struggled before the rise of the mainland film industry where she'd make a comeback.


This post has been updated with new information

[Markgway]

Kenny Bee was actually a pretty big star back in the day.

One of the first male pop star-actor crossovers.

He was in the band The Wynners with Alan Tam.

Popular in Taiwan, too.

[chazgower01]

Chungking Express (1994, Hong Kong) youtube 5/5
Every few years I watch this, usually when something triggers my memory of it. Like Valerie Chow in 'Freaky Story'. She plays the stewardess in this, the cop's girlfriend who leaves him, that has the bra and long airline skirt on in the flashback apartment scene.

It's funny to remember certain things about this movie - how much I hated that motion blur technique early in the movie especially when Jackie and Sammo started copying it... I can't even remember which movies I saw it in (Mr. Nice Guy?), but I hated it! Luckily here, it's very briefly used.

And two years ago, this line wouldn't have made me laugh out loud...
"I ate all 30 cans that night. Good thing for me May wasn't into Durian."

The casting, the dialogue, the visuals, the characters... it all is superb.
This movie IS the art of film making. And Faye Wong. Ah yeah... I think I need to watch some more Wong Kar-Wai.

[chazgower01]

Kenny Bee was actually a pretty big star back in the day.

One of the first male pop star-actor crossovers.

He was in the band The Wynners with Alan Tam.

Popular in Taiwan, too.

And a member of the Asian Hawk's Losers band!

Anything he had a good part in that you'd recommend? He was around a long time!