The off-topic topic

[Markgway]

That's nonsense. I've slept with some of my female friends on several occasions and I can tell you there was not the slightest bit of sexuality involved It's not exactly comparable because they were gay but their girlfriends know and were not the slightest bit angry.

That's because you're fucking gay!

Unless you're Morcambe and Wise you don't share a bed a with someone you're not fucking unless you really have to.

Most girls would hate it but it doesn't make it wrong, we're talking about sleeping here (there's no hint of anything going on). It ultimately boils down to trust and honesty. If she trusts you, there shouldn't be problem.

No woman ever puts that much trust in a man. It may not be wrong in the biblical sense to share a bed but if it upsets your other half - and you know it's upsetting your other half - then it's quite clear a wrong.

I'd feel uncomfortable if I knew my girlfriend had slept in the same bed as another (straight) man

Let me fix that sentence for you:

I'd feel uncomfortable if I knew my boyfriend had slept in the same bed as another (gay) man

I'd be totally annoyed at a girlfriend if she had a problem with me having female friends.

You don't sleep with your female friends.

But frankly who cares if she likes you, you don't like her (do you?). In other words, the problem exists only in your wife's head.

You don't think that's a problem? If this woman did like Sam (and I'm saying if) then someone is gonna get hurt. It may be that Sam is blind to the signs of attraction (most men are unless a woman grabs their balls).

You should've just told your wife from the start. You don't have to worry about being found out then. If I'd come home and my wife had asked where I'd slept, I'd have told her. Honesty prevents secrets coming out later and they always do.

That's the only thing Brad and I agree on.

[bradavon]

That's because you're fucking gay!

Oh yeah I forgot that bit . You've gotta love a bit of cock .

It may not be wrong in the biblical sense to share a bed but if it upsets your other half - and you know it's upsetting your other half - then it's quite clear a wrong.

Well I didn't say you should be a bastard. If she's visibly upset that's different. She could very well be overreacting though but it depends on the circumstances of the situation. You still shouldn't be a bastard and think about her feelings.

You don't sleep with your female friends.

I don't get what you mean here because I've already said I have. I don't make a habit of it but there's only one bed in my place and we have a level of trust (and closeness as friends too!) where it would be odd if they took the couch. It depends on the friend obviously, I don't sleep in the same bed as all my female friends. Some wouldn't feel comfortable with it, even though they know it's platonic.

You don't think that's a problem?

Not in of itself no. If it stays in the girls head and Saltysam doesn't fancy this girl, it boils down to what's in her head. Like I said, if she acts on it, it's quite different. I've fancied girls in the past and because it wasn't appropriate never told them, it didn't hurt our friendship and possible partners because no one knew.

It may be that Sam is blind to the signs of attraction (most men are unless a woman grabs their balls).

I'm totally clueless when a girl likes me, unless like you say it's obvious. Men are useless at picking up on the subtle signs women give out.

[Markgway]

You don't sleep with your female friends.

I don't get what you mean here because I've already said I have.

One shouldn't sleep with their female friends.

[bradavon]

One shouldn't sleep with their female friends.

Different strokes for different strokes. Whatever works in the context of that friendship. If both parties are comfortable with it, I'm not going to tell someone they shouldn't do it. If there's a girlfriend involved I still don't think it's wrong in of itself but it would depend on the context (how long you've known each other, how close etc...) and if the girlfriend has a problem with it too.

The idea that anything would happen with the handful of female friends I have slept in the same bed with is laughable to both of us.

Are you saying you flat out wouldn't ever sleep in the same bed with a female friend? What if you were both single? You still wouldn't? If so, that's a very outdated view IMO, in the context of my questions!

[Markgway]

Different strokes for different strokes.

What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?

Are you saying you flat out wouldn't ever sleep in the same bed with a female friend?

If I was in a relationship... then no.

What if you were both single?

If you're both single it's not an issue. There's no third (or fourth) party. If you're in a relationship you just don't. It's a pretty simple rule to follow. Sam made an error of judgement and now has to sort it with his wife and the other woman.

[HungFist]

I'm gonna have sushi and read all of this

[saltysam]

Marriage guidance advice from Brad...i'm doomed

[saltysam]

i agree but i work with her which makes it awkward.

Why do you need to do anything? She's not actually done anything has she?

Because we had become very close friends,it's going to confuse her when i suddenly become more and more distant.?especially when you see her every day.

You should've just told your wife from the start. You don't have to worry about being found out then

. found out for what? anyway if you'd read the original posts my wife has met the girl on a few occasions,she knows we socilaise but now after being out with her last time is 100% convinced the girl likes me,a woman can tell these things she tells me.

If I'd come home and my wife had asked where I'd slept, I'd have told her.

you are joking aren't you my wife didn't ask but if she had and i'd have told her it most definitely wouldn't have gone down well.

Honesty prevents secrets coming out later and they always do.

i don't see this girl telling my wife anytime soon "hi,btw the way i shared a bed with your husband a while back"

[saltysam]

Can't believe what's happened today. Son is downstairs on the PC when he hears our dog growling at the top of the stairs,he then hears a bang.He picks up a hammer and goes up,opens my daughter's bedroom door to find the scumbag lad from next door on my daughter's bed having climbed through the open window.He lunged at my son who twatted him with the hammer a few times until he started cowering in the corner begging not to be hit anymore,that he was made to do it blah blah.Obviously i can't blame him because adrenalin takes over but he then led him down the stairs and through the front door before calling the police,he should've kept him where he had him. police & c.i.d. & forensics have been out,he's done a runner and there's a warrant out for his arrest.My son is worried about being done for hitting him.what a mess. i'm on to the housing association the scumbag family is with tomorrow,don't see how we can be expected to continue to live next door to them after this.i want them out.The mother came while the police were here and asked my wife "can we talk" needless to say my wife flew at her and had to be restrained

This little fucker was finally found guilty the other day and is awaiting sentence for this plus threatening my wife & son with an iron bar a week later.doubt he'll get much of a sentence though.

[Markgway]

He'll get a slap on the wrist.

[saltysam]

He'll get a slap on the wrist.

important thing is the conviction means we should enable us to get him and his family evicted.

[bradavon]

Because we had become very close friends,it's going to confuse her when i suddenly become more and more distant.?especially when you see her every day.

I thought you wanted to continue the friendship? I really don't get the big if you're not evening sharing a bed.

out for what?

That you've shared a bed.

anyway if you'd read the original posts my wife has met the girl on a few occasions,she knows we socilaise but now after being out with her last time is 100% convinced the girl likes me,a woman can tell these things she tells me.

I read all that. It's your wife's problem as far as I can see. Obviously that makes it your problem too but technically she's overreacting.

you are joking aren't you

No I'm not. It's being honest. I'm some what shocked you find it shocking I'm recommending you be honest. I could well believe she'd be annoyed but the alternative is to lie to her and that's even worse. This is of course assuming she ask, which she didn't, so it's a moot point.

i don't see this girl telling my wife anytime soon "hi,btw the way i shared a bed with your husband a while back"

Tell that to the guy/girl who's been cheating and has been caught out.

[saltysam]

I thought you wanted to continue the friendship?

We get on great,so ideally yes.but if my wife isn't happy i will have to see less of her.

I read all that. It's your wife's problem as far as I can see. Obviously that makes it your problem too but technically she's overreacting.

she's overreacting that her husband is out and about in different parts of the country with a girl she strongly believes fancies him? ok....

Tell that to the guy/girl who's been cheating and has been caught out.

i haven't cheated,at least not sexually.i don't believe she would ever mention it to my wife because then she would completely lose me as a friend and i know for a fact she won't want that.

[bradavon]

she's overreacting that her husband is out and about in different parts of the country with a girl she strongly believes fancies him? ok....

Yes given your wife trusts you 100% So presumably she doesn't actually think anything would happen. Your wife comes first though, I'm not saying otherwise.

[saltysam]

she's overreacting that her husband is out and about in different parts of the country with a girl she strongly believes fancies him? ok....

Yes given your wife trusts you 100% So presumably she doesn't actually think anything would happen. Your wife comes first though, I'm not saying otherwise.

there is no way she is overreacting because she believes this girl likes me!if the boot was on the other foot and my missus was gallavanting round with a bloke i believed fancied her do you think i'd be happy?

[bradavon]

My opinion is no less valid than Mark's or anyone else who commented Sam. If you don't want a free for all reply, don't posted it on a public forum. Your original comment wasn't directed at anyone specific.

[saltysam]

My opinion is no less valid than Mark's or anyone else who commented Sam. If you don't want a free for all reply, don't posted it on a public forum. Your original comment wasn't directed at anyone specific.

what are you on about.?comment all you like,anyone can,doesn't mean i have to agree.

[saltysam]

Wet to the bank earlier and paid my mortgage off, 4 months early.What a nice feeling

[Markgway]

Wet to the bank earlier and paid my mortgage off, 4 months early.What a nice feeling

So excited that you WET to the bank.

Congrats to le casa de Sam.

[saltysam]

Wet to the bank earlier and paid my mortgage off, 4 months early.What a nice feeling

So excited that you WET to the bank.

Congrats to le casda de Sam.

indeed,was so excited i pissed myself.to be honest probably should've moved 10-15 years ago but settled here now and at 47 don't fancy taking another mortgage on.so unless the lottery comes up i'll be here for the foreseeable.

[Markgway]

That should have read le CASA de Sam but I fucked up.

Corrected now though!

[saltysam]

Off to Benidorm for 5 days on Thursday...anniversary present from our kids...downside is i have a ticket for Wembley on sunday and can't go

[bradavon]

That's a nice present. Are you still off to Asia?

[Markgway]

Off to Benidorm for 5 days on Thursday...anniversary present from our kids...downside is i have a ticket for Wembley on sunday and can't go

What and miss Liverpool lift the Carling Cup?

Fucking inconsiderate brats!

[saltysam]

That's a nice present. Are you still off to Asia?

My mate is in Jakarta now arranging things..should now full details when he gets back around 3rd March.pretty sure it'll be happening though.