What general film/series have you just seen.. marks out of 5

[grim_tales]

Perdita Durango (Spain/Mexico, 1997): 3.5/5

Violent, OTT crazy road movie where 2 unlikeable antiheroes (Rosie Perez and Javier Bardem) kidnap 2 young American teens, and commit terrible crimes, on their way to Las Vegas.

[HungFist]

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (USA, 2023) [DCP] – 1.5/5
Colossally disappointing follow-up to three of the best (the fourth one was thankfully never made) adventure movies of all time. It’s so bad that the opening CGI fest where Harrison Ford has been digitally de-aged is actually the least of the film’s problems. Gone is all the wonder and suspense, religious myths, exoticism and risqué violence, and the cockiness of its protagonist, replaced by by-the-numbers dullness served in an excessively digital looking package. Gone is also Indy’s son, replaced by an even more annoying god-daughter character Ford has zero chemistry with. The old man himself sleepwalks through the film and looks very old. Okay, he is old but sadly the film doesn’t do anything meaningful with that fact: there are no funny gags let alone anything more sophisticated like old Indy having to come up with an alternative plan of action due to being past his prime. Speaking of action, there is not a single inspired or exiting action beat in the entire film, nor a joke that would make one laugh. Any remotely good bits are recycled from the old films, with dozens of familiar moments especially from The Last Crusade remade here in a slightly different context but without the old magic. Any characters who aren’t familiar from the old films are mere substitutes for missing old characters, e.g. Mads Mikkelsen’s duller than dishwater Nazi villain, Indy’s god-daughter substituting for his father, and even a new Short Round. And then there's the titular item, the dial of something that they forget to mystify or make meaningful in any way. What’s good then? Well, it’s still Indy on screen. And the ending, as dumb as it is, is at least of some interest.

[grim_tales]

The Body (Spain, 2012): 3.5/5

Cool mystery thriller from Spain.
When the body of a powerful businesswoman disappears from the morgue, the inspector in charge hunts for the truth. But when he questions her husband he realises that there is much more to the case than meets the eye.

One problem is that fairly early on, I could see the husband had something to do with his wife's disappearence, and you know he will get beaten in the end. It's more of a 'how-dunnit' but I definitely enjoy these kinds of movies.
There are some twists I did not see - the husband's girlfriend's identity?!?

[grim_tales]

District 13: Utimatum (France, 2009): 3.5/5

[EvaUnit02]

The Blue Brothers (1980) - 4/5
Rollicking good fun action comedy. I'm shocked I had never seen it until now.

I bought the Australasian release by Via Vision (the Imprint Collection guys), it's a repackage of the European Universal release (unsurprisingly).

The surprising thing is that the New Zealand ratings board (OFLC) had re-rated the film as R16 for this release. All that time prior to 2022 it had been rated M in NZ. I would definitely let children under supervision watch this film, it's very tame.

It has a R-rating in the US. I learnt recently that Temple of Doom was the first PG13 film in the US. If this had been made after that it almost certainly would've been rated PG13.

[Markgway]

Too many uses of the f-word for a PG-13. Then and now.

[grim_tales]

Strangers on a Train - Preview version (1951): 4/5

Good movie. I realise they were trying to build tension with the tennis scenes in this version but I think the match goes on too long.
Bruno Anthony is a complete weirdo

[grim_tales]

The Thief of Bagdad (1940) - 4/5

[Markgway]

Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning, Part One /5

Cruise continues his reign as the premier movie star with another knockout, stunt-packed tale of espionage.

See it on the big screen.

[grim_tales]

I'm seeing this one next week Don't remember seeing many of the M:I movies though apart from 1 and 2

[Markgway]

I'm seeing this one next week Don't remember seeing many of the M:I movies though apart from 1 and 2

Rectify immediately!

In fact, it might help if you refresh your memory with the entire series.
You don't need that for the plot, but more the characters and their relationships.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to watch the previous six M:I films.
You have one week.
This message will self-destruct in five seconds.



Actually it'll just stay here until its deleted... but use your imagination.

[grim_tales]

Spiderman - Across the Spiderverse (USA, 2023): 4.25/5

Rather long for an animated movie but I found the story and animation really good

[grim_tales]

Ashens and the Quest for the Gamechild (UK, 2013): 4/5

Low budget comedy adventure featuring Stuart Ashen (aka Ashens), and other characters, where he searches for a weird Game Boy knock-off called the Gamechild. Recommended and good fun for fans of his Youtube channel and surreal, daft humour.

[Markgway]

Ashens and the Quest for the Gamechild (UK, 2013): 4/5

Low budget comedy adventure featuring Stuart Ashen (aka Ashens), and other characters, where he searches for a weird Game Boy knock-off called the Gamechild. Recommended and good fun for fans of his Youtube channel and surreal, daft humour.

But you couldn't find time to watch the Mission: Impossible movies...

[grim_tales]

Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning - Part One (USA, 2023): 4.25/5

Action packed and exciting, with a very timely warning about the power (misuse?) of AI. Tom Cruise is a good sport for apparently doing lots of his own stunts, don't know how much Jackie Chan does these days (probably not much, if any). Definitely enjoyed this one

[EvaUnit02]

The Flash - 2/5 (USA, 2023).

It was alright. The core story was serviceable enough. Michael Keaton and surprisingly Supergirl were the best parts.

• The 1st hour of the film was pretty painful with the young Barry being prominently featured. REALLY annoying!
• The CGI was awful, looked like PS3 graphics from some janky cheap AA game (Sniper: Ghost Warrior comes to mind).
• There is some noticeably messy writing. Eg Ideas are established and then largely forgotten, like Barry needing to a eat shit load of calories to power himself. I'm pretty sure it's hugely out of continuity with Man of Steel (2013). I.e. IIRC The legacy of Krypton was carried on through fetuses stored in the Fortress of Solitude (which Cavill Supes destroys). "Krypton had its chance!"

I don't recommend paying any money to see this (if you even bother. Snyderverse doesn't matter any more.), but it's an okay watch when the entry fee is $0.

[Lou Bloom]

Master Gardener (2023) 3.5/5
Schrader's latest is interesting enough with a couple of delightful WTF moments. It's a slow burn thriller and as usual he's trying to capture the times and in some sense he succeeds, but he might also be a bit too old to really get what's going on today, especially with these deluded youths. Fine performances across the board, Joel Edgerton definitely delivers. Some beautiful photography and generally decent direction, but I think The Card Counter was a better movie.

A Prayer Before Dawn (2017) 3.5/5
The true story about an English boxer who ends up in a maximum security prison in Thailand on drug charges. The environment is as hellish as one can imagine, and lead actor Joe Cole does a good job in depicting the desperation and hopelessness of it all, and the reality of a severe drug addiction. He picks up Muay Thai in an attempt to impress the officials. That can get you an early parole if you do well in the prison tournaments. Good movie though I expected more from the fight choreography.

Hide In Plain Sight (1980) 4/5
A movie directed by James Caan in which he also has the lead role. The direction and editing isn't much to write home about, but the screenplay is killer and gets into a story that actually happened and has great relevancy. A divored father of two discovers his ex-wife and kids have suddenly vanished. As it turns out, the ex's new mafia boyfriend is arrested and coerced into becoming an informant. They all get into witness protection. The father sets out to find them, but get no help from the police or the government and takes matters into his own hands. This is one of those lost gems. Pure drama with no bullshit emotional manipulation. It just tells a fine story straight up with believable characters. If a more experienced director had taken the reins it would have been in contention for the awards no doubt.

I, the Jury (1982) 2.5/5
Based on a Mike Hammer book by Mickey Spillane. I haven't read it, but it's said to be hard boiled crime fiction no punches pulled. This movie steps too much into comedy/parody territory to be taken seriously. Armand Assante isn't really best suited for this type of role either. The plot isn't bad at all. A private detective investigating a murder gets a lead into a sinister sex clinic. Unfortunately, it's never as interesting as that sounds. Mediocre at best.

[saltysam]

[

I, the Jury (1982) 2.5/5
Based on a Mike Hammer book by Mickey Spillane. I haven't read it, but it's said to be hard boiled crime fiction no punches pulled. This movie steps too much into comedy/parody territory to be taken seriously. Armand Assante isn't really best suited for this type of role either. The plot isn't bad at all. A private detective investigating a murder gets a lead into a sinister sex clinic. Unfortunately, it's never as interesting as that sounds. Mediocre at best.

There's nothing mediocre about prime Barbara Carrera in this one

[Lou Bloom]

There's nothing mediocre about prime Barbara Carrera in this one

True, but unfortunately that wasn't enough to make the movie much better. A shame as it had potential.

[EvaUnit02]

Transformers: Rise of the Beasts (2023) - 2.5/5
The 2nd in the soft-reboot series after the unexpectedly decent Bumblebee. It was watchable and coherent. Nothing was awful, but nothing great either. It was plain white bread. I will probably have forgotten the plot of it a month from now.

The Bayformers films were aggressively awful, but this made them highly memorable as a result. I still remember some of the horseshit comedic attempts like Asian guy from Hangover yelling "DEEP WANG" in Shia LaBouf's face from Dark of the Moon. The racist caricature comedic relief duo ("We don't read good, mastah Prime.") + Devastator's testicles from Revenge of the Fallen. Maybe it's better to be utter shit sometimes than be aggressively average?

[EvaUnit02]

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (USA, 2023) [DCP] – 1.5/5

Every Disney Lucasfilm movie (except Rogue One) has been awful. Yet you still paid to see the latest one?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itjmKlYjUak


I'll torrent it once 4K copies hit streaming.

[HungFist]

Every Disney Lucasfilm movie (except Rogue One) has been awful. Yet you still paid to see the latest one?

Of course. I was dying to see it. It could've been good.

Rogue One is when I decided to stop seeing Star Wars movies in theatre. It was such a bore. Thankfully the later films in the main trilogy were a bit more interesting.

[Markgway]

Rogue One is the only SW film that's actually bored me.

Not sure why it's so popular.

[Lou Bloom]

Rabid Dogs (1974) 4.5/5
Should be considered a classic in the thriller genre. Directed by Mario Bava this movie was way ahead of it's time. It's relentless, the opening heist scene is well directed, brutal and sets the tone for the rest of the movie. Has a great score too.

Death Rides a Horse (1967) 4/5
Spaghetti western with Lee Van Cleef and it's one of the better non-Leone films of that genre.

The General's Daughter (1999) 3/5
Decent military thriller with an unbelievable plot (which I didn't care that much for). James Woods' performance raises it above mediocrity. There are much better 90's Hollywood thrillers out there.

Cutter's Way (1981) 2.5/5
Interesting premise and a good performance by John Heard as the peculiar Cutter, but it ultimately fails because of a snail like pace and poor execution. A missed opportunity to create something really special as far as I'm concerned. I liked the story, but all the meandering ruined it for me.

[grim_tales]

Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3: 4/5

Haven't watched the first 2 in the series, but this was good fun, with the hero characters hurling insults and jokes, a surprisngly heartfelt story for the racoon character, and a villain you'll love to hate