The off-topic topic

grim_tales · Post by **grim_tales** » 23 May 2005, 15:11

Thanks Yi

I didnt win the Lottery but Arsenal won their own version of it, almost as good

IronMonkey · Post by **IronMonkey** » 23 May 2005, 15:14

Yi-Long wrote:Iron Monkey... is her departure from your life the reason behind all the poetry!?

Yes, that is one of the reasons. I'm having a few other problems at the moment too, but hey... that's life. She still loves me, and she's still in my life, just not the way I want her to be.

Yi-Long · Post by **Yi-Long** » 24 May 2005, 13:01

IronMonkey wrote:
Yi-Long wrote:Iron Monkey... is her departure from your life the reason behind all the poetry!?
Yes, that is one of the reasons. I'm having a few other problems at the moment too, but hey... that's life. She still loves me, and she's still in my life, just not the way I want her to be.

That sucks dude. Did it happen recently, or a few months orso ago!?
So you're still friends!? that doesnt happen very often, and it usually doesnt work when only one of the two still wants a relationship, and the other doesnt...

I could say ' look at the bright side' and list all the things you now have time for again (old friends, videogames, etc...) but when the pain is still so fresh, that isnt really usefull. hope it works out for ya...

I cant really imagine how I'd feel if me and my girl seperated.
We've been together for almost 4,5 years now, and are eachother's best friend (which is also because I used to have mostly female friends, which obviously I couldnt continue ... )
She drives me crazy at times, and she a real NAG, and she calls too often, and and and... but yeah, it would be hard without her.
Sometimes I fantasise about being single again, cause I really miss all the spare time and all and the lack of nagging, but I'm sure it would be painfull if it actually happened...

GRIM: Man, Arsenal STOLE it

cant believe wenger played bergkamp up front all by himself. how stupid was that!?

Mordib · Post by **Mordib** » 24 May 2005, 13:57

for the record I doubled the amount of numbers of got on the lottery this year, I got one on saturday bringing my grand total to 2

sorry guys, no free prezzies this time.

oh and IM, sorry for being loud and annoying during a hard time - my cheer up tactics are famous for misfiring...

:shock:

IronMonkey · Post by **IronMonkey** » 24 May 2005, 17:28

Yi-Long wrote:That sucks dude. Did it happen recently, or a few months orso ago!?

So you're still friends!? that doesnt happen very often, and it usually doesnt work when only one of the two still wants a relationship, and the other doesnt...

I could say ' look at the bright side' and list all the things you now have time for again (old friends, videogames, etc...) but when the pain is still so fresh, that isnt really usefull. hope it works out for ya...

I cant really imagine how I'd feel if me and my girl seperated.
We've been together for almost 4,5 years now, and are eachother's best friend (which is also because I used to have mostly female friends, which obviously I couldnt continue ... )

She drives me crazy at times, and she a real NAG, and she calls too often, and and and... but yeah, it would be hard without her.
Sometimes I fantasise about being single again, cause I really miss all the spare time and all and the lack of nagging, but I'm sure it would be painfull if it actually happened...

She's my best friend in the whole world and I still love her to bits. She loves me too, but she just doesn't want to be in a relationship with me right now. She wants to have some "fun" (flings) before settling down with me because I was her first boyfriend.

We split up 4 weeks ago today. It's been the longest 4 weeks of my life - feels more like 4 decades.

Believe me, loads of people have been saying "look on the bright side" and "you've got so much more free time now", but why the hell would I want free time? I'd rather spend it with the most amazing person I've ever met. Free time? Not needed.

I'm similar to you - most of my friends when I was in school were girls. It's just so much easier to not get judged all the time like you do when you're with lads.

Trust me mate, she might drive you crazy at times, but you would severely miss it if she left you. You can only imagine the heartache I'm going through right now. Multiply that by about 10 milllion and you might be beginning to scratch the surface of the pain I'm in.

With that and the other stuff that's going wrong in my life right now it's all just getting a bit too much for me.

Just don't let your girl go mate. I'm not giving up on mine ever. I know there is hope for us...

Mordib wrote:oh and IM, sorry for being loud and annoying during a hard time - my cheer up tactics are famous for misfiring...

Don't worry about it mate. Just because I'm having a rough time at the moment doesn't mean you have to tip-toe around me.

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 24 May 2005, 19:09

IronMonkey wrote:She loves me too, but she just doesn't want to be in a relationship with me right now. She wants to have some "fun" (flings) before settling down with me because I was her first boyfriend.

That's the most ridiculous reason I've ever heard. You either love someone or you don't. You don't put them on hold to see if there's something better coming along. Having "fun"? Like you're not fun? How insulting is that? Honestly if a guy made these excuses he'd be accused of being insensitive and 'laddish'. I understand you're borken up Monkey, but maybe she's not on your level?

Yi-Long · Post by **Yi-Long** » 24 May 2005, 20:37

Although I agree with (mr sensitive) Mark, and also wouldnt continue the relationship, I can very much understand that would be incredibly hard to do, so that really is a personaly decision only you can make ofcourse.

I was once very good friends with a girl for over a year, and we fell in love... and just when we were starting, she informed me she actually already had a boyfriend... so that was awfull... not only because now I wouldnt be with her, but mainly because that so-called friendship between us had just been reduced to SHITE. I had a really hard time trusting women after that... perhaps I still dont trust many women...

Anyway, when that happened, I kept longing for contact with her, and she kept messaging and ICQ-ing and e-mailing me... but very soon I realised I didnt want to be with such a person. Not even on a purely friendly basis.

The moment she told me she 'kinda already had a boyfriend' I really felt a ripping feeling through my chest... like a wet muscle tearing...

But now... I realise that there are WAY better women around, and girls like that really are a dime a dozen...

Ofcourse, this doesnt compare to your relationship, but that situation did teach me I would never be treated like shit by a woman.

i'm also my girl's first boyfriend, and sometimes I fear she'll also feel the need to 'have fun' and try other guys (although she doesnt really seem like the girl, as she's very 'on her own'), but IF she ever does, I would not stay with her, or take her back. That's easier said then done, but any relationship between us after she would have been with some other guy, wouldnt work.

Like I said earlier, it really is a personal decision ofcourse, and everyone is different, and if you and her are happy together in 2 years time, then it's great... and I really hope you will be happy again...
Just make sure you're not setting yourself up for more pain. As mark said, she shoulodnt be treating you like this if she had any feelings left for you. In fact, no-one should treat other people like this. It's called having respect for eachother's feelings. If you can cope with it, then dont mind what me, Mark or anyone else is telling ya...

I just wish ya all the best and hope things will turn out alright...

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 25 May 2005, 01:38

Maybe my words sounded harsh... but that's because I hate to see anyone get fucked over in a relationship and then feel bad about it. I actually am very sensitive to feelings, I just don't believe in sugar-coating the truth. If I said to my girlfriend "I've had three happy years with you, but I'd like to dump you and "have fun" (read: sex) with other girls, would that be OK? Hey, I might even come back to you if nothing better turns up!" Imagine the reaction. So feel hurt Monkey by all means, it's natural. But remember your self-worth and don't take any shit. She left, move on to someone better, it's the only wat you'll ever be happy.

IronMonkey · Post by **IronMonkey** » 25 May 2005, 20:48

Markgway wrote:She left, move on to someone better, it's the only wat you'll ever be happy.

There is no-one better. Trust me. Lots of people have said move on, be happy with someone else. But the thing is I'll never be happy with anyone else. I wouldn't risk letting someone else so close.

The only person I would risk letting so close again would be my ex-girlfriend, for reasons I don't really want to discuss.

Thanks for your input and opinions. I value them, even though I don't really know you people. Sometimes it's good to get an unbiased opinion off someone.

But I have chosen my path in life. I won't veer from it. She still loves me - that gives me hope for some day soon...

brassmonkey001 · Post by **brassmonkey001** » 25 May 2005, 22:03

IronMonkey wrote:
Markgway wrote:She left, move on to someone better, it's the only wat you'll ever be happy.
There is no-one better. Trust me. Lots of people have said move on, be happy with someone else. But the thing is I'll never be happy with anyone else. I wouldn't risk letting someone else so close.

The only person I would risk letting so close again would be my ex-girlfriend, for reasons I don't really want to discuss.

Thanks for your input and opinions. I value them, even though I don't really know you people. Sometimes it's good to get an unbiased opinion off someone.

But I have chosen my path in life. I won't veer from it. She still loves me - that gives me hope for some day soon...

Reminds me very much of a relationship I had some years back.
You need to start letting go. You need to come to terms with the fact that she might not come back. You will find happiness elsewhere, but it will be difficult until you finally accept the inevitable and move on. I sincerely hope it does work out for you, but going by my experience it sounds to me like it's over, full stop. I would be happy to be proven wrong, but I don't think I'm going to be. If you can at least accept that she might not return, and you might find someone else, then you will have started the healing process.

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 26 May 2005, 18:54

Iron Monkey, can I just second what Brass Monkey has said. It seems like the end of the world, but you must, can (and will) move on. You're hurting now, it happens to everyone at some point or other, but the pain goes away. There's no such thing as one single soulmate. That's movie talk. There are many people you can fall in love with - and will fall in love with you. Give it time, don't expect miracles, and see what happens. When you stop feeling sorry for yourself, that's wehn good things might start happening again.

Yi-Long · Post by **Yi-Long** » 26 May 2005, 19:53

It once took me about 4-5 years before I was ready for another relationship again..
Or better said, it took that period of time untill I started liking other girls again. There was this one girl, we were great friends, had a good relationship, I was secretly in love with her, but we lost touch... and after her I just didnt find, or was interested in, any other girls that I really liked as much as I had liked her...

So yeah it can take time. In that case, I wasnt really hurt like u were hurt now, but I guess there is always time needed to go from 1 special person to the next.

brassmonkey001 · Post by **brassmonkey001** » 27 May 2005, 15:24

In the relationship I had, I continued to see the girl 'as a friend' for quite a while afterwards, but it was just like picking at a scab. She broke my heart and continued to break it again and again unintentionally. She never saw how much she hurt me and it was a long time before I realised that although she loved me, she never felt as strongly about me as I felt about her. We had to go our separate ways. As much as I believed at the time we were meant to be together, we weren't. We had to part so that I could be where I am now.

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 27 May 2005, 19:38

Wise words from Brass. Take heed.

Yi-Long · Post by **Yi-Long** » 27 May 2005, 21:30

He (Iron Monkey) should deal with it in his own way, just as we all learned these lessons in our own way...
That's not to say we cant give him our opinion or advice (IF he wants... and I guess he would rather deal with this privately... so this is probably my last post regarding this issue cause I dont want to be too intrusive...), and ofcourse hope that it all works out well for him in the end...

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 28 May 2005, 02:57

Yi-Long wrote:so this is probably my last post regarding this issue cause I dont want to be too intrusive...

Who are you and what have you done with Yi-Long?

gasteropod · Post by **gasteropod** » 27 Jun 2005, 21:33

Erm, hi again everyone. I haven't been on this forum in so long, and I don't even know why lol

BiscLimpkit · Post by **BiscLimpkit** » 27 Jun 2005, 23:02

Yeah where've you been?

gasteropod · Post by **gasteropod** » 27 Jun 2005, 23:38

Well my PC died a couple of months ago so I wasn't on the internet for at least a month, but I still hadn't been on here for ages before that. I guess I've just been out of the Asian film scene for some time - I haven't been buying DVDs or anything...

grim_tales · Post by **grim_tales** » 28 Jun 2005, 10:27

Nice to see you

grim_tales · Post by **grim_tales** » 30 Jul 2005, 15:46

Its' bad enough when a girl is not interested in you, when you hear it through somebody else (even if its something you already know), it takes the cake

It hurts.

It sounded as if she (Sarah-Jane) didnt like me and doesnt even want to chat and stuff, but apparently thats not the case.

I want to speak to her herself. Grr...

[Marvin]I think you ought to know, I'm feeling very depressed[/Marvin]

I'm assured she doesnt hate me and will still say hi, but her cause of action (not wanting to talk with me anymore, but still sayimg hello - huh?) just doesnt sound very friendly

bradavon · Post by **bradavon** » 30 Jul 2005, 16:23

Grim like I said you shouldn't believe third party info!

grim_tales · Post by **grim_tales** » 30 Jul 2005, 16:25

Well to be fair they are friends of Sarah's (one of them I know from my schooldays).
I would like to hear what Sarah has to say though..

Markgway · Post by **Markgway** » 30 Jul 2005, 19:07

bradavon wrote:Grim like I said you shouldn't believe third party info!

I told him the same thing....

grim_tales · Post by **grim_tales** » 31 Jul 2005, 10:20

Why not? I belive the part about her not being interested, which is true.
Unfortunately the way they say it makes it sound as if she doesnt like me at all, which is what I have a problem with.